Monday, June 30, 2008

Perverted coconut

I was shopping with my brother and my sister-in-law when I saw this.


Hentai coconuts???!!!


Apparently, besides meaning pervert, hentai also means white coconuts in Japanese.....

I can imagine a situation which the usage of the word can be confused...

Dude A: Oi. What are you doing? Switching off the lamps and all...

Dude B: Oh, The usual...Watching Hentai....

Dude A: What the fish???!!! (Goes to "investigate"....)

Image taken from here

Dude A
: .............................

Disclaimer: does not condone to any acts of porn and adultery.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

I watched a movie today...Yay!

It seemed that June 26th was the day good movies come out to play.

Play in the cinemas lar..Not the park!

You see, when I arrived at TGV KLCC, I didn't know which movie should I watch. It seemed all the movies are good movies...

I daren't do a movie marathon because I can somehow picture how my parents would've reacted. When after 20 days of Umrah, finding their son wasting money watching movies while they were in Mecca would've made any parents pissed off you know. So I only have the guts to watch just one.

With only Rm30 left in my allowance, I can't do movie marathons anyway...hahaha...

And choosing one among them is a tough one you know...

There's Ayat - Ayat Cinta showing...My friends say that it's a good movie, but I don't wanna watch it..Though the novel is good.. Yes, I admit, I read it.

You see, I've read Harry Potter. All seven books. But when I watch their movies, I was deeply disappointed. The magic in the novel always stays in the novel. Somehow, the director failed to bring the magic in the novel into their movies, and that's disappointing.. So I was thinking it might be the same case with this one.

And then there's Run Fatboy Run.

I saw the preview of this movie, and it was funny. But I also don't wanna watch it.

If I wanna see a fat boy running, I'd put a huge mirror in front of me and run like hell.

And then there's also one of our local movies, Sepi.

I was deeply intrigued to watch this movie, but I didn't.

I am sepi myself. I embodied the meaning of sepi. Why would I wanna watch someone else's sepi-ness? That'd make me even sepi-er! Maybe I should watch it after I've got myself a girlfriend, just to remind me of my sepi-ness before I found my future special someone. And maybe get a laugh ot two at the characters' sepi-ness.

"Mwahahaha... you guys are pathetic...."[giggles...]

And there's also The Nanny Diaries.

I know I shouldn't be judging this from the poster, but when I looked at the dullness of this poster, I can' help to think that the movie itself would be dull. So I didn't watch it.

There's also Incredible Hulk showing..

I saw the preview, and it was so-so. I didn't watch it. The reason is I saw the real hulk already, right here in Malaysia. So why watch the American one?


So I was left with Wanted.

It just came out, the preview was very good, so I watched it. It's a story about a regular joe that one day, he learns that his long lost father was a hell of an assassin that was killed by another assassin. So after that it's all melodramatic revenge bla bla bla...But in pursuit of that assassin that killed his father, he learns another shocking thing....

It's a damn good movie. The development of the storyline was slow, yet it grips. It twists and turns. It shocks and awe. Suffice to say, I didn't regret watching this movie.

But I think I'll regret watching this movie if somehow my parents found out that I've been watching movies while the were in Mecca....

Keep it a secret eh??

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Music tag

Found this survey by bloghopping..Copied and pasted in my blog without permission...hahahha

The Rules:

1. Put your music player on shuffle
.2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense.
4. With the answers, give your own comments on how they relate to the questions.

How are you feeling today?
The Funeral of hearts|HIM
so sad my house got broken's like going to funerals...

Will you get far in life?
Anywhere | Evanescence
InsyaAllah I can go anywhere with my future-special-someone.. If I have money of course...

What's your best friend's theme song?
I'm yours | Jason mraz

What is the story of your life?
Your love is a lie | simple plan
Dunno how it connects with me.....

What was high school like?
The world is black | Good charlotte

A lil bit dull lar...

How can you get ahead with life?
Seize the day | Avenged sevenfold
Grab every opportunities that come to you by their balls and never let them go...hahahha

What's the best thing about your friends?
Confessions part II | Usher
They don't bang me till I got pregnant, that's for sure....Not making sense....

Describe your Grandparents.
Cinta seorang teman | BOB AF2
Hmm....maybe that's how they met...

How's your life going?
U turn | Usher
Not looking back...that's for sure

What will be played at my funeral?
Sorry | BuckCherry
I was thinking Surah Yassin, but since it's not on my music player, I got this instead...

Will you have a happy life?
Bye Bye | mariah carey
Watafak...???I'm going already....?

What do your friends really think of you?
Love is hard(ost my girl)| dunno the singer
Wah...I dunno loving me can be a hard business...huhuhuhu

How can you make yourself happy?
Steer | Missy Higgins
But the search ends here
Where the night is totally clear
And your heart is fierce
So now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer

Steer into different direction lar..huhuhuhu

What should you do with your life
Better man | Robbie Williams
Be a better man....huhuhuhu...

Will you ever have children?
Frantic | Metallica
OMG...I'm gonna be having lots of children, I'll be going frantic!

What does your mom think of you?
I'm like a lawyer with the ways I'm always trying to get you off | Fall out Boy
Dunno how this song should connect..

What is your deep, dark secret?
Your Guardian Angel | Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
I'm someone's guardian angel...???hahahha..gile syirik....

What is your enemy's theme song?
Apa saja | KRU
Untuk mu kasih
ku cuba meraih bintang di angkasa..
walau tak terdaya kan kuikhtiar...
Utk mu kasih..ku korban apa saja....

Enemy aku yang jiwang...Ahahahha.....Bodo nye enemy....

Whats your personality like?
St anger | Metalicca
Sometimes I'm a hot headed dude...

What will be played at your wedding?
Hate (I really don't like you) | Plain white T's
Gile ah...sah terus cerai pasni.....

Monday, June 23, 2008

My house was broken into by a bunch of sissies.

I don't know whether to be angry or not... Perhaps I should be baffled instead.

Last two weeks, my house in Shah Alam got broken into.

My house was a wreck. My room, which was already a wreck in the first place, has been wrecked to smithereens by those fuckers. Damn...

And for some unexplainable reason, though Aziz's room was also broken into, this is the only mess they made.


I dunno whether their hearts were into it or not...

By the looks of it, it looks like my house was broken into by a bunch of sissies and hesitated halfway whether to steal anything or not...

Our Big-Ass TV is not stolen, my printer is not stolen, but only my perfume got stolen....??? Very sissy...

And the mess they made, it looks like they purposely messed it up only to clean it back. But somewhere in the middle of the cleaning process, they changed their hearts.

Get this, they also left us with something!

They left us with lots of baju kurung!!

Wah... Very generous....

But watafak are we gonna do with your baju kurungs dammit! It's not that we can wear it anyway!

Baju kurung for sale...Anyone...?


Friday, June 20, 2008


Meet one of my friends. Her name is Hidayati, but people call her Yet.

Recently, she has gone through an operation to repair her cleft and palate. Google it if you don't understand what I am talking.

Suffice to say, she is in agony right now.

I wish her a speedy recovery.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Stupid headline

Since my parents are going to Umrah tomorrow, they need to get their money changed.

So, off we went to a money changer somewhere in Kota Tinggi.

Then I spotted this.

Watafak....??? SURELY it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out THAT??!!


Apparently, that person would be me......

So much for my new Ferrari.....

Tagged by Shikin

So I have been tagged again...
supposed to be longer but I cut it really really short.

Name: Muhamad safwan
Sisters: 2
Brothers: 3
Shoe size: 10
Height: 174
Where do you live: Johor
Favourite drinks: coffee. Extra strong please.
Favourite breakfast: Anything low carbohydrate. I poop too much if it's too much.
Fallen asleep in school: when teacher's not aroun
Fell off your chair: yes. I broke it in fact
What is your room like: It's king size bed, very comfortable
What's right beside you: an earphone
What is the last thing you ate: rice and tempe with sayur taucu
Ever had Chicken pox: yep
Like picnics: provided I'm with good companies, yes.
Last made you smile: Picturing my next blog entry. stay tuned..hehehe

Have you ever crawled through a window?
Can you handle the truth?
Are you too forgiving?
Are you closer to your mother or father?
Do you eat healthy?
Are you loud or quiet most of the time?
-somewhere in the middle. im not too reserved nor too loud.
Are you confident?
-can't say...U be the judge..

5 things on my to-do list today
1- Update blog
2- topup hp
3- pack up stuff for KL trip tomorrow
4- sleep
5- tgk tv puas2

5 snacks I enjoy
1- snickers
2- kinder bueno
3- super ring cheese flavor. cheap and cheerful, that one.
4- ice creams, strawberry flavor. on a hot day, It's seventh heaven on earth..huhuhu
5- fruits

5 of my bad habits
1- korek idong kat bilik org lain pastu lekatkan kat lantai bilik dia...hahaha
2- swears a lot.
3- indecisive
4- questionable sense of humor
5- ske bangun lambt. haha

5 places I have lived in
1- KT
2- KL
3- Kuantan
4- Parit Raja, Johor
5- Senai, Johor

5 people i tagged
1- sape2 yg berminat. your blog, you decide.
2- same cam no 1
3- same cam no 2
4- same cam no 3
5- same cam no 4


Friends that have known me very well would say that I pretty much hate football. And they're quite right.

I have tried my best to grow interest about this sport, but somehow, it's just not working..I watched games, played it on the computer, played it in real life with my friends, but it wouldn't grow on me.

However, the worst part is, it's a norm that guys like sports, such as football. Being a guy that hates football would raise awkwardness in society.

"Seriously, a guy who hates football? He must be gay."

Oi! I am straight OK! I prefer things coming OUT of my ASS rather that going IN, thankyouverymuch.

So, to save my dignity, I will try to write about Euro, since it's the current big thing in football world.

If I were asked who I'd like to see as Euro winner, I'd say any team will do as long as it's not Italy. The headbutt incident during the last world cup still pisses me off. Why in fuck's name must Materazzi insult Zidane's family? That's a kick to the groin, that is. A cheap shot. He knew France was winning and that dumbfuck had to have poor guy's bald head fucked up pretty good. And too good in fact that poor guy was sent off.

I've always liked England, cause they're supposed to have Beckham and the other one doing Celcom ads (I dunno his name), but since they're not qualified, I would have to choose another team, I suppose...

I also like France, coz they've got Thierry Henry. From what I've heard, he's supposed to be a good player. But without Zidane, France's attacking front is really in trouble.

So, right now, my money is on Netherlands. If France can somehow work out a miracle and qualifies for the next stage, I choose France instead.

I think France vs Italy match is in progress right now. Maybe I should watch this grudge match..It should be interesting..

PHEW, Glad I can write about football without sounding stupid. Now I can proudly say that I'm not gay. Haahahaha.......

Monday, June 16, 2008

One dude hard to forget

Meet Mr Ki.

He's Khairul Azli. Take the "K" from Khairul and I from Azli, What does it spell?? Mr Ki!!(read it in a cheer leader tone)

Back in Kuantan, he used to teach us College Writing, one of my favorite subjects (though I kinda suck at it). He took over our previous lecturer coz basically, she sucks. Because of her sarcastic remarks, half of the class cried and the other half deeply de-motivated to learn College Writing.

What we did was we reported it to our coordinator, and she sacked that woman for us. Good riddance. That's when he came into the picture.

With the previous lecturer sacked, we need a new lecturer (duh). For about 2 weeks, we didn't have lecture for the Writing class. On one fateful day, Mdm Noraini, the then TESL program coordinator finished her drama class with us saying,

"Oh, and by the way, I've got you guys a new lecturer. He's male, and apparently very cute...So ladies, behave..."

Needless to say, after that statement from the person well known for her seriousness, I can't help but to be anxious.

I don't care he's cute.How will he be?.. Garang or not.. strict or not... ?

I got a feeling the girls were anxious about something else..

How cute..? Zac Efron cute or Orlando Bloom cute? Just joking..hehehe...

Then it was the moment of truth..

He walked right to the front of the class, and his first sentence that came out of his mouth was,


haha... OK ok.. I'll get back to the point. This is what he did.

"Lemme lay down a few rules here in my class.

First, if you're getting sleepy and want to yawn, juz go ahead and yawn however manner you like. If you wanna follow the sunnah, fine by me. If you wanna yawn like animals, suit yourself.

Second, if you are hungry, just go ahead and eat in my class. Obviously not nasi bungkus or anything heavy, but please just eat. And don't ask for my permission whether you can eat or not.

Third, if you wanna go out, to toilet or just to get a breather, just go ahead, and again, never ask for my permission. It disrupts the class.

Fourth, just reply or answer any calls that may come to you during class. If you don't, the person on the other end may feel uneasy."

OMG.... He's broken every rules of thumb about disciplining students, but I like that. He understands us, see.

We can't control being sleepy and hungry. They're physiological needs...Maslow's hierarchy of needs at the bottom part, if I'm not mistaken.

At that time, I got a feeling that his class won't be dull.

I was right.

I can still recall one incident he said,

"I can't help to notice that we Malaysians are too polite. Even to point at things, we have rules for that.

If you think THIS is RUDE,


But the thing that made him unforgettable is because he's not your average lecturer.

For each writing class, we are required to submit journal entries. Pick a topic from the list, and say what we wanna say in writing. And then, submit.

Usually, during this time, I wrote about my problems. Relationships, personal, studies, whatever lah..And he'd give me advices written as comments on that particular piece of journal. He's helped me through tough times in Kuantan, and I am sure that he has helped others.

In the last class for the semester, we cried. If previously we cried because of insults, but on that day, we cried because he's a good lecturer and he'll not be teaching us anymore.

He's funny, he's kind, he's allegedly cute by Mdm. Noraini. He's Khairul Azli. He was my lecturer. He's a friend.

He's one dude I find hard to forget.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

I feel bad

This ain't a jiwang stuff.

I'm sorry.

I didn't know this would happen.

I didn't know this would hurt so much.

I never knew that by simply putting your blog link in my blog will hurt you so much.

I never knew someone would say such things to you.

I'm sorry.

I never knew your blog would be assaulted by such a person.

I'm sorry.

I take full responsibility of whatever happened.

I'm sorry.

Friday, June 13, 2008

How people like things - seen by me

It all started out in a Yahoo Messenger chatroom.
[cornholio_denali is me, yuffiesilver is my friend]

yuffiesilver: lol at the zohan poat
yuffiesilver: *post
yuffiesilver: anyway here's mine
yuffiesilver: http//******
yuffiesilver: http://********

***After a while from reading her blog***

cornholio_denali: kool2..
cornholio_denali: still with ur fanaticism with korean stars, i see..
cornholio_denali: hehehe
yuffiesilver: not fanaticism
yuffiesilver: fangirlism
cornholio_denali: what's the difference...?
cornholio_denali: everything u do, you must have their faces
cornholio_denali: hehehe
cornholio_denali: ur friendster, myspace,
yuffiesilver: really ah?
cornholio_denali: ur blog also
yuffiesilver: im a healthy fan
cornholio_denali: ......
cornholio_denali: hahaha
yuffiesilver: im not that obsessed but i do get lost looking at their pics
yuffiesilver: until i almost mistakenly call my senior chang min
cornholio_denali: ????!!!!
cornholio_denali: hahaha...
cornholio_denali: admit it...
cornholio_denali: u r obsessed..
cornholio_denali: even can't differentiate ur senior's face from changmin
yuffiesilver: i can actually
yuffiesilver: but bila ternampak dia senyum, teringat pulak kat senyuman si changmin tu


That's not the end of the chat, but I purposely cut out the end part of our conversation as it contains private stuffs. Definitely not for your ears.

Not THAT kind of private, if you must know ;)

Anyway, after chatting with her, I noticed that when it comes to liking something, there are three kinds of interaction between the subject and the object. I may be wrong, but this is what I can see...

1) "The Regular I-Kinda-Like-This-Thing"

These are the kind of people who like something, and basically that's it. The thing that they like do not interfere their daily life in anyway whatsoever. They eat rice, drink water, shit healthy shits, and stuffs other normal people do. For example, I kinda like Nissan GTR coz it's a cool car. It's sexy and it gets whoever fortunate enough to afford one from A to B unnecessarily quick. Go ahead and say "Eh, Ferrari is better lah..." and I wouldn't waste my time on trying to persuade you to like Nissan GTR.

2) "The Die-Hard-Fan"

These are the kind of people who like the thing and no else. For example I have a friend who likes Manchester United. He eats Man U, drinks Man U, and sleeps Man U. Because of the excessive intake of daily "Man U-ness", I have a strong feeling that he pisses and shits Man U as well. Just for the fun of it, I walked right up to him one day and said "Fuck Man U. Chelsea'll kick your sorry lil' ASS! Mwahahahahahahahaa!" After that, he didn't speak to me for the whole school session. Even to that extent...

3) "The Zen Fan"

These people are hard to spot. These are the kind of people who like the thing very very and I mean VERY MUCH but never admit it. On the surface they look like just what average joes look like, but when no one's around, they indulge in the guilty pleasures... For example, I have a friend who dresses like rockers. He listens to rock songs like Mudvayne, Metallica, Children of Bodom, System of a Down and the likes, but on one fateful day, I caught him singing ANUAR ZAIN in the shower.

"Ku percaya jua...Sesucinya cintamu...."

Caught red-handed, he warned me never to tell anybody. But "oops, my tongue slipped. Hehe"

An evidence of my stupidity

I was browsing the phone book of my handphone to delete some numbers. I have around 450 numbers stored, and which only five of them I contact frequently. It was a mess...

Then I stumbled upon my old friend's number. Though he may deny it, I think he's some kind of a hot stuff. Chicks like him and guys hang out with him often. He's like Austin Powers of The New Millennium, if you ask me.

Being the desperate "girlfriend-less" guy, I asked him for advice. There's this 1 "session" with him that got stuck in my mind harder than gam gajah.

Me : Camner ar ko bagitau ko suke seseorang...?

Him : Bagitau je la..Ape susah.. Nape? Ko suke someone ke?

Me : Ye la... Dah lame aku simpan siot.. Ko kan ade pengalaman... Ko coachkan aku ayat dia bole?

Him : Tengok ah dulu..Ape yg payahnye..?

Me : Kalo aku jumpe dia kan, mesti gagap dow... tak tau nape.. takde modal siot nk ckp ngan dia..

Him : Takde modal? Kalo gagap aku bole terima. Takde modal payah aku nk percaya. Ko ske ke tak dia tu sebenarnye?

Me : Agak ah..

Him : Ko biar benar.. Aku tengok dia tu bukan taste ko.. Ko pon bukan taste dia..

Me : Aku suke dia gitu gitu jer.. Tengok orang len ade gf aku pon nk try ah..Ape best sangat couple couple ni...Slalu aku tgk time sebelum couple tu diorang dok dua dua tu diorang ckp ape sebenarnye?

Him : Tengok ah.. Lain orang, lain... Tu ko kene blajar sendiri ar..

Me : Abih ko ngan girlfriend ko dulu ko ckp ape time tu?

Him : Nape ko nak tau?

Me : Saje nak tau... Kalo best aku try arr kat dia..

Him : Pale Hotak ko...

Me : Nanti ah aku try men Ganguro girl ke ape ke.. Training secara maya org kata..

Him : KEPALA HOTAK KO!!! Camni la gaya ko, memang sampai reput tulang ko pon takde awek lagi.

Me : Nape?

Him : Pempuan ni bukan cam Ganguro girl, lahanat. Ari ni cakap bende ni. Esok bagi hadiah ni. Lusa terus kapel. Bukan camtu dow..Sengal la ko ni...

Me : Oh, bukan eh? Thee heeeheeehee...


See how pathetic I am..Hahaha... It takes me almost 19 years to realize that women in reality and in games are different...

Anyway, he recommended reading "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". He says this book has helped him a lot, and reckons it will help me too. Now reading the first chapter, and I can really feel my Austin Powers mojo shaping up. Hehehehe...

Groovy baby...

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

My All time favorite song No 2

I have a list of my all time favorite songs, and this one sits at number 2.

It's Croatian Rhapsody played by Maksim Mrvica, composed by Tonci Huljic

Listen and enjoy....It's really good. SIRIM Approved.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

An obscene movie poster

I was happily waiting for the clock to hit 3.20 pm so that I can enter the cinema. I walked aimlessly and stopped abruptly when I saw the movie poster Don't Mess with Zohan starring Adam Sandler. I couldn't find the actual movie poster that I saw, but this one that I found in internet contains pretty much the same message that the other one conveys..


I don't know about you, but when I looked at his enlarged "thingy", I was thinking about the other kind of blow...

Thanks, but NO THANKS ADAM. I'm not that kind of guy.

Sunday, June 8, 2008


Rite now, I'm at my brother's house in KL for about I-Dunno-How-Long time....

I'll be updating my blog when my bro doesn't use his computer..

Kalau tak jatuh, kita tak belajar untuk bangun

Exam result's out.

It shocked me so much, I was speechless at that time. How can it be? Is it real? Please don't make it official...

But it is. It is real, it is official. My result dropped. Damn...

Last sem, I got 3.47, just 0.03 shy for the dean's list. At that time, I said to myself, "You're nearly there, man! Just work harder this sem!"

So I worked harder. I've put a lot of effort this sem, but somehow I still came up short. The worst part is, Dean's list is moving further away..

After putting a lot of effort into this, to see it all crumble beneath my feet hurts me so much.AARRGGHH!!!


Then, I chatted with Aziz and Michelle. As expected, they are once again among the Dean's list award winners. Ana and Yus too. Congrats guys.. Though I'm the biggest dude among them, I felt really small...

Thanks guys for the encouragement...It really means a lot...


The frustration built up. So, I went to a bookshelf to look for books to read.

I' think I'm a weird dude..Who reads a book when he's frustrated??

Out of nowhere, I found my old College Writing text book. I immediately turned to the last cover page and read what my last college writing lecturer wrote to me.

Thanks Mr Ki. Though you aren't here, you still manage to encourage me..Looking at your scribblings for signature and those four words, I recalled the last piece of advice you have given to me.

"Carpe Diem. It means seize the day. After this Bear, I want you to seize every opportunities that come to you. Seize every chance, never waste any. Seize the moment. Work hard, study hard, and never let that moment slip away. If you do all that, you will be among those who are victorious."


Damn it! I'm done being mediocre. I'm done being just like anybody. This coming sem, I'm gonna work harder. No more Mr. Lazy Bum.

Semester 3, watch out. I'm coming.

Friday, June 6, 2008

What do I do on holidays

When it comes to holidays, I always do the lamest thing possible to kill time.

This holiday, I download movies. I don't like to watch on cinemas, coz it'd require me to go out. With fuel prices on the hike, I'd prefer to stay home. I don't like to buy original DVD's coz they cost an arm and a leg. I also don't like to buy pirated movie, coz sometimes the picture quality sucks so much it cleans better than a vacuum cleaner. Seriously.

That's why I always opt for downloading DVD ripped movies. The picture quality are much better and the sound quality are crisp it made a gunfight scene so real.

Besides that, another factor that made me prefer downloading is because I got a torrent software. It's just any other torrent software, it's the XUNLEI THUNDER.

They don't put in the "Thunder" for nothing you know. Check this out.

Observe the speed. It's freaking 165.5 kbps I tell you! That's basically one movie PER HOUR. It's blazing fast... Sometimes it can reach speeds up to 200kbps depending on the seeder.

When you can get high quality movie for free, why even bother buy pirated movies? Hehehe...

I got a feeling that this holiday won't be so lame after all..

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

An inferno to our pockets.

I hate politics

When I was a kid, I hate it coz in order for me to make sense what my parents are talking about, I need to know about the character. For me to know the characters, I need to read, and I hate reading.

Now, I still hate politics. I hate it coz after knowing the characters, consequently I will know about the bad deeds that they did to the rakyat. With the corruption and nepotism and all, you can say that I pretty much loath politics and politicians.

However, my hatred towards them has moved up a notch. They raised fuel prices from rm1.92 a litre to rm2.70 a litre out of nowhere. the rakyat was informed by mere hours to make preparations. This is what happened in one of the fuel stations in Johor Bahru, and I'm pretty much sure that the situation in your area is basically the same.

I don't mind that they are going to increase the price (OK, I do mind a little), but at least give don't make it too sudden. They informed us at 3 pm and it'll be effective by midnight? What the fish?

Even if they are increasing the price, why must it be too steep? 78cents might not be a big deal to them but for us citizens, that's a very very big deal.

Make it gradual increment, if you really need to increase the price. And, make it clear on how the rakyat will be helped. Don't increase the price steeply after giving the rakyat information at the eleventh hour!

Right now, I hate them so much. And apparently, it's not only me who hates them.

Nazmi, my nephew also hates them.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Drift king...??? NOT!!!

The fucked up feeling this evening alone is by far the worst I have had to handle.

I went out to the bank just now to pay the house rent. After that, I said to myself,

"Oi, dude... You drove from your home to town, only just to pay the rent??"

"Well, yeah... What's up with that?" I replied to myself.

"WTF??? I didn't drive all the way from Senai to Bandar Baru UDA for over 45 minutes just to pay the fucking rent!! Gimme entertainment dammit! I'm fucking bored!"

"Yelah2.. Meh pegi Angsana..Main game...Nak bawak pegi City Square tak tau jalan...harap duduk je kat jb..tapi Jalan sepatah haram pon tak hafal.. sengal la ko safwan.."

Don't be surprised. I always have this kind of monologue. I've been like this since the day I was born..hahaha...

So I drove myself to Angsana, and upon arrival, I headed straight to the arcades. I really love arcade games. Some people might hate it coz it's too noisy and all, but I love it. When I was doing my pre degree in Kuantan, I used to hang out a lot in the arcades. Among the games that I always play is Daytona. It's a car racing game. I like that game a lot.

I'm not a pro when it comes to Daytona, but I'm not a noob either. I still can't finish expert level, and I usually picked the wrong lane in intermediate level, which costs me a lot of time. I played intermediate level just now, and amazingly, I got fifth place. Normally, I'd get tenth out of 20.

While I was playing that game, I noticed an 8 or 9-ish year old boy was checking me out. The way he's cheking me out made me think he's gay or somthing... Oi! I'm not a chick and I'm definitely not gay.

After playing that game, I moved to Initial D game , which is also a car racing game.

In this game, I'm a complete noob. I know the theories, but I just can't do it. So I chose the easiest map there was and raced.

I was taking the first turn when I suddenly noticed my car was out of power. Few seconds later. It completely stopped. Shit. This could only mean one thing.

A challenger..

I looked to my right trying to see who's the big idea to challenge me. Double shit.

It's the same kid.

As if challenging me is not shit enough, he pulled out a card from his pocket and inserted it into the machine. Apparently, that card stores info about that particular racer and the level, and saves any upgrades to the car. I looked at the challenger's level and it's triple shit.

His level is fucking 10. A PRO. A 9 YEAR OLD PRO I TELL YOU!!!

He used his upgraded Toyoto Trueno AE86, just like Takumi used against my noob Evo 7.

Being the challenger, the kid gets to pick which turf we'll be fighting on. Quadruple shit.

It's Hirohazaka. The PRO LEVEL TURF. Notoriously known for its hairpin turn and short straights. Hit one wall and bye bye 10 seconds. and not just that, It's night time and it's wet. I'm screwed.

Then , on we went to the starting grid. 3, 2, 1, Go! I slammed the pedal hard and went nuts with the gear change and all. but somthing's amiss. That kid didn't even move his car one inch for a full ten seconds before going on to chase me. FUCK YOU. This is an insult.

Up ahead, it's the first turn, and it's already a hairpin turn. I lifted the gas paddle, downshifted, and turned the car into a drift.

FIVE SHITS COMING AT ME. I oversteered. My car went pusing pusing macam gasing. Unsurprisingly, that kid drove past me and left me eating dirt. He won with a good 300 meters advantage.

Shortly after crossing the line, the kid exclaimed "Yes! I won!"

At that moment, I resisted myself to say "Celaka... Lawan noob bole ler.. Kang aku cabar ko bawak kreta biasa kat jalan kang menganga ko..ntah2 lepas clutch pon gagap.."

I went back home. What began as a quest for entertainment, it ended up with a lot more depression. I still can't bring myself to accept this one fact.


A letter to God

iDear Allah,

Thanks for everything. With Your permission, I can again take another breath and continue to live.

I need your help and guidance right now more than ever. I don't know how to put what I have in mind right now into words. I don't know why, my Lord, but somehow I can't write like I used to write. I know I can write better but somehow, I just can't. My inspiration was gone.

As you know, there are three things that gives me the inspiration to write. First, it's Your permission and your grace. Second, it's nightfall, and third, the girl I love. You know her, don't you? The one from my school... You've watched the whole thing happened..

It's night right now, and I don't know whether You have taken away my ability to write, but I'm struggling right now. The words don't flow out of my hands like it used to. Maybe it's because one of the three things is gone, which is her.

I love her my Lord. I really do, and I still do. I even wrote an undelivered poem about my love to her. But I did something stupid that made her angry and she stopped talking to me. I regret what I have done and I am very sorry for what had happened. If you had given me the power to turn back time, I'd tell my old self not to do what I did.

She is really one of a kind. She's whatever the moon has always meant, and whatever the sun has always sing. See how lousy I am right now? I even have to copy and paste a line of EE Cummings' poem to describe her.

Right now, she won't talk to me. Her anger right now is still burning the same way it has been burning for two years. I did everything I could to work it out, but it failed. I have no one to turn to except You. Only you know how empty it feels inside me. I may look like I'm having the time of my life on the outside, but inside, it's so dark, and empty.

I really hope for your miracle. If somehow she found this letter I wrote to you, I hope she knows how sorry and how much I am suffering right now. And I hope she can forgive me...

But if I'm not worthy of her, please give me a sign...

By the way, I hope you can keep my mom and dad safe during their Umrah. Yes God, they are going to visit your house again on 19th till 30th June. I hope you can protect them and make their journey flow smoothly.

I hope you can keep my remaining grandparents healthy. My younger sister said grandpa has been having weird dreams. She said he has been dreaming about meeting his long dead friends for quite a while now...

If it's not any burden to you, I also hope you can also Bless my friends. My primary schools friends, my secondary schools,my friends during the short communication course in PTPL college, my friends from KUTPM,and all my friends from UiTM. All of them.

All of them have been very good to me, and I value them. They are the people who picked me up when I was down. I know they could have kicked me in the gut back then, yet they chose to pick me up instead. They supported me through my tough times. Thank you for allowing me to meet those wonderful people.

If you can, can you send my regards to Muhammad bin Abdullah bin Abdul Mutallib?

Thank you for letting me live. I know I haven't been among the best of Your servants, yet I'm asking so much from you, but I'm working on it. Thanks again for everything.

Your servant,