Monday, August 31, 2009

Old newspaper....


Was about to use this old newspaper to cover the floor for buka puasa.


But took another page from the instead. Coz the page I had in mind had this picture.





He's "happy" and he knows it, and he really wants to show it, so he cupped a feel of his mate's bended ass....




Sunday, August 30, 2009

Forgotten picture 2

I don't know what is it with me. I seem to always take pictures, and forgot all about it the next day.

Actually, I've been meaning to post this long ago, but forgot.

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Last month, when I was checking out magazines in a mamak shop in section 17, Shah Alam, I saw this Doraemon comic.







Kids nowadays.

Not only they have internet at their fingertips, they even have comic books to aid their study. For a moment, I was quite jealous with them. Back in those days when I took Biology for SPM, I had to work my brain so hard to keep it alert when reading textbooks, while they can laugh at Nobita's stupidity while learning blood circulation system. That ain't bloody fair. But the jealousy didn't last long..

Coz I spotted this on the cover.





"KOMIK EDUKASI".


WATAFAK.

Has Malay language vocabulary become that limited?

Why oh why??????

Why can't they just put "Komik Pendidikan" or "Komik Sambil Belajar" or something? They carry the same meaning for crying out loud.

Bastardizers.

I have a feeling that the reader of the comic can improve his Biology SPM paper at the cost of his Bahasa Melayu score.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Why I was traumatized by listening to the songs on my handphone.

A couple of days back, while I was daydreaming, I remembered I haven't washed my shirts for more than a week. So I decided to wash them and listened to the songs on my handphone.

Repeat: Off

Shuffle: on

Volume: to the max.

The first song that came out from the playlist was Kci n Jojo - All my life

It must be the lyrics that made me decided to tell her about my feelings.

All my life, I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way like me too,
Yes I pray that you do love me too~


It took years to muster all the courage to tell her that. I was afraid to ruin what we had. But decided to tell her anyways the next day.

Just for the fun of it, I asked my handphone "What would happen tomorrow? Will she reject me?" and then I pressed Next.

Kanye West - Heartless popped out.

In the night I hear'em talk,
The coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul
to a woman so heartless...

Owh shit. For real? This ain't right. No! Next song would be "it"!

The Script - The man who can't be moved.

Some try to hand me money but they dont understand,
I'm not broke but I'm just a brokenhearted man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I've been in love with you.


Aww man, are you serious? Does that mean I'm gonna get turned down by her, but I'll still have feelings for her?

Man, this blows. Then what would happen to me?

Matt Costa - Mr. Pitiful

Oh Mr. Pit, Mr. Pit, Mr. Pitiful,
Who let you down?
Who let you down?
Who let you down?
I'm gonna be pitiful...? Damn, takkan la aku langsung takda happy kot?


Britney Spears - Phonography


Let's talk about biology
make believe you're next to me
phonography phonography
talk that sexy talk to me

Better make sure that the line is clean
make it confidential you and me
phonography phonography
dirty talkin call it democracy

It was then I realized how silly I have been. Asking my handphone about the future? Macam haram....

The next day, I told her about my feelings. She turned me down. Kanye's prediction came true.

Though she turned me down, we are still friends (hopefully). But still, you don't just forget those years of keeping all that feelings bottled up. It lingers on for a while. Much like The Script's song.

Right after she turned me down, I was in a very pitiful state. I called Hajar to tell her about this. She listened to me patiently and gave me some advices. Thanks Hajar. But that means it's strike three. Three songs that predicted the outcome came true. Now that my pitiful-ness has gone, I don't know whether the fourth song will came true.

I'm still waiting for a biology teacher to call me up and talk sexy.....

Thursday, August 13, 2009

10 Perkara Orang Tak Tahu Pasal Saya Time Kecik kecik

Tagged from Midin. Since he did it in Malay language, it is only appropriate that I do the same. But I don't think I can recall my childhood as vividly as he could. So I put 10 stories instead.

1) Masa kecik2 time aku 5 tahun, bapak aku, Encik Abu Bakar cuba masukkan aku kat Tadika Yayasan Islam. Tapi bila dia cuba kejutkan aku untuk bangun pagi, aku akan meraung raung taknak pegi sekolah. Sampai sekolah pun aku meraung jugak. Cikgu ngajar huruf A aku meraung lagi kuat. Cikgu time tu tak tahu nak buat apa. Bapak aku last last tak masukkan aku pegi tadika time umor 5 tahun. Yes!

2) Time aku 6 tahun, dia cuba sekali lagi nak masukkan aku ke tadika. Aku buat benda sama. Meraung raung. Tapi kali ni bapak aku bersedia. Bila aku menangis2 tak nak pegi sekolah, dia buat tak tau. Sumpah menyampah time tu. Aku pegi tadika umur 6 tahun dengan perasaan penuh benci.

3) Sebab aku bencikan pegi sekolah time tu, aku cuba cari setiap kesalahan dalam tadika tu untuk buat bapak aku keluarkan aku dari tadika tu. Bapak aku pernah dapat call dari cikgu tadika, dia kata aku tengking budak budak dalam kelas aku sebab diorang bising. Lepas aku tengking, budak2 semua senyap nak mampus. Takde sepatah haram perkataan keluar. Cikgu nak ajar ABC pun payah. Cam ajar ABC kat mayat. Takde respon.

4)Jadi ketika aku umur 6 tahun, walaupun aku bukan ketua kelas time tu, aku secara tak langsung menjadi ketua kelas tak rasmi, ala ala Lord Voldermort. Ketua kelas untuk kelas aku tu aku "cucuk hidung" dia untuk ikut telunjuk aku. Pasal suruh budak2 senyap, suruh diorang beratur sebelum pegi kantin, semua aku buat. Tugas ketua kelas aku time tu bagi salam je. Dasar pemerintah tak guna.

5) Time umur 6 tahun, Cikgu kelas aku, cikgu Rohaya memang best. Aku tak tahu berapa kali aku terberak dalam seluar time kelas dia, tapi dia tetap cucikan bontot aku ngan penuh dedikasi.

6) Aku time darjah 2, aku pernah dapat nombor 3 time periksa akhir tahun. tapi cikgu kelas aku kata orang nombor 1 je dapat hadiah. Jadi aku tak pergi majlis penyampaian hadiah. Last last cikgu bahasa malaysia aku tanya kenapa tak datang amek hadiah. Aku cakap cikgu kelas aku kata orang nombor satu je dapat. Last2 dia bagitau actually hadiah untuk nombor satu sampai tiga. Aku sampai sekarang benci dengan cikgu tu. Aku berdendam. Sebab dia, aku tak dapat kotak pensel ngan buku cerita Aladdin.

7)Time aku darjah 2, aku nak sangat jadi ketua kelas. Gila pangkat kan aku? Tapi jawatan tu dapat kat seorang budak pempuan yang garang gila. Lagi garang dari aku. Nama dia Juliatie. Sebab aku jeles tak dapat jawatan tu, aku selalu bagi masalah kat dia. Pernah sekali dia menangis sebab aku taknak ikut cakap dia. Tapi aku rasa bersalah sangat time tu. Pastu bila tengok dia menangis, kiut la jugak time dia menangis. Dia first crush aku time tu.

8) Time aku darjah 2, Nazim, abang sulung aku yang belajar kat US dah grad, so dia balik Malaysia. Dia sampai Malaysia ngan buku chess satu kotak besar nak mampus. Satu para dedicated untuk OPENING je. belum masuk middle game ngan endgame. Memang gila chess abang aku. Pastu dia ajar aku ngan adik aku, Hafiz. Memang terer la abang aku ajar budak kecik. Sabar je dia layan aku ngan adik aku. Time tu aku selalu menang lawan Hafiz. Tapi nak jadi cerita, Kelab Disney Malaysia time tu tetiba cerita pasal Blitz Chess. Blitz chess ni lawan chess laju nak mampus, sampai kadang2 satu match 2 minit je dah setel. Aku terikut2 ngan syle tu, sampai terabur abis aku jalan. Jadi selepas daripada tu, aku selalu kalah ngan dia. So aku tinggalkan Chess. Hafiz pulak jadi terer gila. dari darjah 5, dia dah jadi wakil sekolah untuk chess competition untuk sampai daerah. Bila dia Form 5, dia jadi wakil Terengganu. Bila aku masuk Pre Degree Tesl baru aku terkial kial nak belajar balik.

9) Aku dulu kurus gila. Sumpah aku tak tipu. time aku darjah satu berat aku 28 kilo je. Hafiz gemuk time tu. Aku selalu ejek2 dia sebab dia gemuk. tapi skang dah reverse. Aku gemuk dia kurus. Dia pulak ejek2 aku. Dia jadi kurus sebab crash diet ala2 Gung Ho. Satu hari setengah pinggan je nasik. Mak bapak aku pening kepala nak suruh dia makan. Salah satu usaha diorang, bagi makan vitamin Appeton yg ada lysine tu. Lysine tu tugas dia menambah selera makan. Tapi masalahnya vitamin tu pun dia tak makan. Dia bagi aku. Aku bedal je la. Last aku jadi gemuk gila, dia jadi kurus gila. Pandai je dia sabotaj aku.

10) Masih lagi cerita pasal Hafiz, Dulu aku time darjah 2 selalu buli dia sampai menangis. Menangis je tau la suara sapa. Tapi pernah satu hari tu, dia stay up sampai pukul 2 pagi nak tengok cerita Kungfu mabuk Jackie Chan punya pasal. Esok nya dia pulak buli aku. Aku ketuk kepala dia, dia bagi aku Hikmat Telapak Tangan Tanpa Bayang kat muka aku...... Mampu ko nak lawan?

That's as much as I can remember. God, I wish I could be a child again.

Ok, enough reminiscing about childhood, let's get back to here and now. Shit. Gotta study for Multicultural counseling test tomorrow. Test will be at 8.30. Damn, I'm screwed.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

For goodness's sake...

...grow some balls, Safwan.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

satu post nakal dari anak nakal.

One fateful day before the semester starts.


Situation: My mom, my dad, Hanim my sister and me were having lunch.


Hanim: Ayoh, ayoh sayang orang dok?

Dad : (Malas nak layan) Sayang sikit sikit. (Lalu menyuap nasi dalam mulut.)

Hanim: Ayoh sayang mak dok?

Dad : Malas jawab. (Sambil menggumpal nasi dalam pinggan.)

Hanim : Kenapa?

Dad : Kekgi Wang tulis dalam blog dia.


Lantas dia mengambil nasi yang digumpal tadi untuk dimasukkan ke mulut, tapi dia masukkan slow slow. Kadar kunyahan 0.5 rpm. Satu tenungan tajam diberi dari ayah aku. Muka threatening. Serious macam villain villain cerita James Bond. Tapi aku maintain kool. Siap gelak gelak.

Oh Ayoh. Ketahuilah bahawa anakmu yg tengah ni mempunyai 1001 idea idea nakal untuk mention Ayoh dalam blog Wang dan nampak kiut.

Selamat Hari Lahir ke-61, Encik Abu Bakar.

Tua macam mana pun anda, anda tetap hensem.




Picture taken 2 years ago in Langkawi Island.




P/s: Ayoh nak cakap ayoh sayang Mak la tu, kan, kan? Betul tak? Hehehehehe....