Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Queen captures E7, Checkmate to His Majesty..

Last saturday was Inter Faculty Sports (SAF) for Chess event. I, along with 5 others, represent Faculty of Education for that event.

The main reason that I joined this year's SAF is that I wanna redeem myself for doing poorly last year. Last year was hell. Faculty of education sent out TWO teams, and both of them ended up twentieth and twenty-first place. I think I was the one to blame.

I was up for the first round. At that round, I was beaten by some unknown dude and it took the best of me. I became too consumed by that defeat, it carried on to my later match-ups.

Fuck that. Last Saturday, I was very determined to win.

And we came close to that.

Although the rules now has changed to each faculty must send only one team, I can safely say that it was the best team we came up at the last minute. In fact, it was better than last year's.

We got Sharol, one of the UiCC member, KARISMA player (Karnival Sukan Universiti teknologi MARA) and he's quite good. I've beaten him a couple of times while I lost count of him beating me. (Yeah yeah, I'm a sore loser).

We also got Adi Syazwandi, who hails from Kuching that has been playing Chess for pocket money during his school years. He's a tough dude to beat, you know. Khairul Azri also joined us this year, and he's quite good.

We also got another player, but he told me not to mention his name. It's a shame, coz he's very good. For the sake of this blog, I'll name him Dude. Amri was new to chess, he needs a little more polishing for his openings, and teach him basic strategies such as pins, skewers, discoveries, and he'll be a tough dude to beat.

And of course, the faculty also got me. The fat wannabe.

For the goodness of the team, I became the first reserve instead of main lineup. It's not an easy task you know, coz everytime one of the main lineups needed rest, I'm the first pick for the switch. And mind you, they need rest a lot.

For the first round, I was reserved. The main lineups were out first. Azri, Dude, Sharol and Adi were up.

I observed the Azri's match, and to tell you the truth, it was pretty much anybody's game.

Azri was down by a couple of pieces later in the game, but managed to secure a mate out of the blue. That dude really is a kamikaze kinda dude. He sacrificed some pieces, hoping that his oppenent would take his bait, and it worked.

Dude slaughtered his opponent without mercy.

Sharol underestimated a knight's power, and didn't see a mate setup coming up his ass. Poor dude.

Adi said he lost due to only one mistaken move. So, it was two wins and two loses for the first round.


For the second round, I was up to replace Adi against FSSR. Knowing that I was up, I was feeling kinda nervous not to repeat the same mistake last year. I gathered my confidence, only to find that this was my opponent.

A FUCKING NOBODY. It turns out FSSR didn't have enough representative, and my opponent was JOE SCHMOELALALA. Crap. I was nervous for nothing. I got easy win. My teammates also kicked the opponent's asses silly all the way to Macau. We got 4 wins and no loses for the second round.


For the third round, I was up again against Intec. The last year's defending champ.

This is my opponent which I forgot his name.

Due to his nerdy look, I figured that he has got all possible openings memorized by heart. Word has it, Intec dudes play by the book for the first 30 moves, and if their opponent decided to do their own variation, they will be puzzled.

I was sceptic for a bit. Luckily, I played white, so that made me easier to analyze his openings.

I pushed my king's pawn, and he replied with his bishop's pawn. Sicilian Opening. I took out my King's knight, he took out his king's knight also. KAWTIM. Sicilian Opening. So I played my bishop to attack his knight, and it proved a blunder. he later chased my bishop and I was down by a bishop for a pawn. Crap.

Since I lost by pieces, I need to gain space. I decided to play defensively.

(I still got both of my rooks, but out of focus. Lousy phone cam.)

He struggled to penetrate my defences, but I lack patience. I decided to counter attack, and it cost me severely. I lost the match. But I was the last man standing against the defending champ.


It's too tiring to give you guys round for round analyses but suffice to say, at the end of the day, we ended up sixth out of fifteen. Out of 4 matches, I took out 3 opponents. Quite OK la... Damn Intec dudes. The second place goes to Accounting Faculty. They've got a National player in their team. Law dudes settled for third.


This year was better than last year's SAF. And for next year, I'm looking forward for the next SAF. Hopefully I can represent UiTM Shah Alam for KARISMA....

Friday, July 25, 2008

Pimped up bus

Finally, after about 3 semesters of persuasion, my parents gave me one of their cars. With it, I can commute to classes easier and didn't have to wait for buses.

But I sure am gonna miss riding this particular bus.

You see, this bus ain't no ordinary bus.


It's just the tip of the iceberg. Check this out!

How often do you see a "Hawaiian Theme Bus?!" This bus owner has put Rapid KL to shame I tell you!

And the genius plan behind this is, if he's not having a good day, he can always take his money from here...

I swear he used to have a lot more money posted up there than before.....Probably he used some of it to buy fuel...

The problem that I noticed with this bus is that it took nearly half an hour to go from Section 2 to Section 17, which only supposed to take roughly 10 minutes if you take Rapid KL. It probably due to the fact that this bus driver likes to take things slow.

You see, I noticed that he never shifts into fourth gear. Oi! Scientists also invented fourth gear ok??

It also takes about 30 seconds for the bus to reach from 0-40km/h, and for 0-60km/h it takes about a week.

But I like this bus. There's no sense of urgency, which makes you feel relaxed. The owner also plays songs from the 70's, though I find it revolting, it suits other people especially the mak ciks. And I'm cool with that. Some of it are really nice songs.

Another cool thing with this bus is, it doesn't use bells. It uses sirens I tell you! Check this out!

That'd put criminals on guard everytime people were trying to get off from this bus....Hahaha....

I like taking bus rides from this pak cik. It gives the passengers the sense of satisfaction from riding something that's pimped up.

Since they don't have a pimped up ride, they take a ride from a pimped up bus.

So in Shah Alam, if niggaz here are feelin like a pimp, they can either brush their shoulders off, or take a ride from this bus.

Ya dig?

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

My nephew

I love kids.....

Don't you?

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Some of the reasons why I am girlfriend-less

Everyone knows that when it comes to girls, I suck (here, it means the lousy one, not the one you think).

One of the reasons is that I am to shy to approach any girl that I find attractive. And even if I do manage to pluck the courage, somewhere in the middle, that girl is going out with somebody else. Being the gentleman-ly kinda guy, I would back off.

I mean, if she's going out with him, then she should be happy, right? And for her to be happy is all that matters. Besides if the guy going out with her is my one of own friend, it'd make everything worse.

So that's why a few years back, I used a different approach. I tried to tekel one of my friend (girl).

You see, her being my friend, I know a lot about her, I know what she likes and all.. Plus, she's kinda cute.. So I gathered all the courage I could gather and I told her...

Me : Weh, kalo aku bgtau sesuatu ko jgn gelak eh?

Her: Ape?

Me : Kalo aku ckp aku suke ko, ko caye tak?

Her: Safwan, ko gile eh?

Me : Ape gile plak, sial???

Her: Takde ah..Tah mane2 datang, tau2 ko cakap ko suke aku...Ape kes??

Me : Seriyes la weh...Tak tipu...

Her: Hahahaha...Bongok la ko...Sebab apa ko suke aku?

Me : Malu ar nk ckp..

Her: Cerita je la sial...Mane tau untung untung ko boleh couple ngan aku ke..

Me : Aku rase cam best la bile ko ade....layan kepala...bile tgk2 ko lame2, nmpk kiut gak dow..(And I told her other reasons which I would not disclose.)

Her: Aku???Kiut???HAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! Sah ko mabuk minum oren tu....hahahahha!!~

Needless to say, it was unsuccessful. She said she likes me too, but as a friend...and we'd continue being friends...I'm cool with that...And we are still close friends...

However, a few days later while I'm hanging out with my other friend which is a guy:

Him: Weh, aku dgr cite ko ckp kat dia ko suke dia, betul ke?

Me : Celaka...Sape bgtau weh?

Him: Dia sendiri bagi tau aku siot...Nak tergelak aku weh...hahahahhaha.....

Me : ..................................................[Speechless]

Crap. Pawned. Owned.....Double Kill..! I don't even have to tell you how embarrassed I am...But I'm cool with that...


I'm glad me and her are still friends. Other girls I know would've given me silent treatment or just avoid me and stuff. I hate that.

With me and her, we can even laugh at ourselves silly over the day I told her I loved her.

Recently, she, along with our old movie buddies hang out to watch movies, and on that fateful day, SEPI is still showing. She knows that I am still single now, and she decided to tease me.

Her: Weh, kalo korang nak tengok movie ape2 aku layan jer. Tapi jangan ar Sepi dow. Kesian Safwan....Kesepian takde girlfriend....Da la kene reject ngan aku hari tu...hahaha

Me : Lahanat.........Ko nye pasal la ni...Kalo ko kapel ngan aku je aritu sah2 la aku boleh tengok Sepi ni ngan hati yang gembira....


Contrary to what my friends think, when it comes to girls, I'm kinda shy..

That's why I find it hard to approach a girl I barely know,

And even harder to tekel a friend....

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

An event I had to miss

I really look forward to attend this event...

What better way to learn about the most influential man of all times from one of the most highly regarded Islamic scholars?

Sadly, the event will be held on Friday 4-6 p.m and I had to miss it because I got Kesatria Negara on that day....


Do attend this event if you're free and make sure you take loads of pics....So you can make me feel jealous about your fortune....

Lo, and Behold!

Though it's a cardboard Dr Mus, I can't help to feel kinda excited...hahahaha..
It sure looks real though....Apart from the size being considereably smaller than the real one....
Really look forward to meet him if he's touring near Shah Alam.....
Been kinda busy, and no inspiration to write, which is why I haven't been updating this for quite a while now...

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

My house was invaded.

I don’t know why, but my house in Shah Alam always seems to attract unwanted visitors.

During the semester break, it was broken into by what I thought to be an organization called “A Syndicate of Sissies” (ASS).

Last night, it was broken into by my eternal non human nemesis, RATS.

I was about to write an entry about my previous chemistry teacher when a BIG BROWN but not so juicy rat came through MY WINDOW, into MY ROOM.

Don’t ask me how it got in, but it did. Maybe it flew.

I rose quickly and opened the door hoping that it would go out to the living room.

It did. But the thing is, since Zafi decided to sleep in the living room, I needed to get that rat out of it without waking him up.

I opened the door leading to the balcony, and chased it out of the balcony with my folded sejadah.

That fucking rat ran out, climbed the balcony wall while squeaking cheerfully at my futile attempts to bash it. Dammit....!

I raised my hand while clenching the folded sejadah like a croissant, and WHAM! I whooped that fucking rat’s ass all the way down from third floor, missing landing Fahim’s motorcycle cage by mere inches.



Yet, it’s still very much alive.
But that ought to teach that rat a lesson not to go inside my house ever again.

SAFWAN = 1, Rats = 0

Saturday, July 5, 2008

I was "investigated" by a police!

I was thinking of updating this last night which is right after the event, but it was 3 a.m already and I needed my beauty sleep. But get this, a police had investigated me!

I was on my way to Fahim's Uncle's house in Rawang. I took a KTM Komuter at 8.30 and arrived here 11.30 p.m.

I waited for them in front of the commuter station, and across the street is Balai Polis Rawang.

After waiting about 3 minutes or so, a man came out walking from the police station. At first, he looked like he's only about to get a breather, but suddenly he noticed me and started to cross the road.

Aiya. Die.

I didn't know Rawang Police got hold of my Anwar vs Saiful Bukhari post...!

Half my mind was telling me to run, another half telling me to bribe the police with Nasi Lemak.

Unable to make up my mind in time, the police managed to get to me and held a hand.

I shook it.

Police: Wang! Kenal tak Abg Eri ni?

Me: Lar....Abg Eri ke ni...???!! Anak Ayah Ngah tu kan..??

I didn't know I have a cousin here! A police at that!

The thing is, when it comes to polices, I noticed that they have an aura of making me feel nervous. VERY NERVOUS.

And boy, was I nervous at that time! I think he noticed my nervousness, and he asked me to go to the Police Station..

I was "arrested" willingly....

We sat down on the bangku outside, and chatted for a while.

He asked me where was I from, when I went out, with who, and a lot of others. The way he's asking me, it's very subtle but the aura he's bringing makes me feel like confessing a murder! And I'm not a murderer. The only thing I'd happily murder is mosquitoes and George Bush.

Then, he asked for my parents phone number. I gave him, and he crossed referenced my statements with them! It's like he suspected me of running away from home!

After calling my mum, he and I talked again for a while.

Him: Hari tu Abg Eri rasa pernah nampak Wang kat Klang..Kat Bukit Tinggi..Dalam 2 bulan lepas kot..

Me : Haa..Memang ade pon penah pegi...Time tu meronggeng ngan member2 nak lepas tensen exam...

Him : Haa..Betul la tu... Abg Eri nampak kat surau...So lepas ni Abg Eri tau la mane nak cari Wang lepas ni...

OMG I was under investigation!This is it.. I cannot meronggeng there anymore...

Then, Fahim's uncle, along with Aziz and Fahim came to pick me up.

Before parting, we exchanged contact numbers, and suddenly he asked,

Him: Wang ni nampak macam nervous je....Ade buat salah apa apa ke?

Thinking about the Anwar vs Saiful Bukhari post, I chose to exercise my right to remain silent.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Burning questions

Before we go further, I want to make it clear that I do not support any political parties whatsoever. Malaysian politics are too boring anyways. I'll try to be as impartial as I can..

Now, Anwar Ibrahim faces yet another charge of sodomy.

I simply can't grasp the concept of sodomy.
What kind of fun is it that you get when you insert your big bird into another man's shit hole?
To me,It's just plain disgusting. Stupid Gay-ism. If this is Zaman Nabi, Malaysia will be obliterated from the earth.

Back to Anwar's case.

In this case, I don't know what to believe in.

If 1998's case was a true case, obviously doing jail time failed to deliver the punishment. If 1998 case was a set up, then the conspirators are maybe out of ideas on how to pin that guy down.

Maybe the conspirators thought the rakyat will believe it, you know? They say he did it in 1998, why not have a 10 year anniversary celebration by sodomizing someone else in 2008?

That's why I will not pass my judgment into this matter until I can ask a few questions to the victim.

1) How big Anwar's dick is?
Is it long and hard or short and limp? You'll know it because you've been sodomized by him on repeated accounts as you claim here.

2) Why didn't you report it the first time he had sodomized you?
Please don't tell me you were enjoying those.. (I'm joking...) If your safety was threatened, I can understand..

3) I don't see any defense wound you inflicted on Anwar. Were you resisting him at all during those accounts?
Scratch his face maybe, or maybe tied his dick into a knot or whatever...? Besides, you didn't tell us about your injuries.. In the papers you merely said you submitted your medical reports, and basically that's it. No details made public....

These are the burning questions I want to ask the victim. Just so I know that what he claimed is not a political conspiracy set up by the higher ups.

Conspiracy or not, either way, I couldn't care less. Politic sucks more than a vacuum cleaner. Period.

Geez, I must've been watching too much Prison Break. Conspiracies and all.. Better play DotA...

Wednesday, July 2, 2008


Jim Carrey, before he became famous, once wrote a 10 million Dollars cheque and kept it in his pocket. Now, he earns about twenty million Dollars for a movie. Several years later after he became famous, he tucked the ten million Dollars cheque in his father's pocket before his burial.

Scott Adams was a lowly technology worker and used to get meager salary. In the cubicle of his office, he spent his free time doodling. One day, he decided to write "I wanna be a syndicated comic artist" FIFTEEN TIMES A DAY. Now, he is the comic artist of Dilbert, which is now published over 1000 newspapers worldwide.

What do these two dudes have in common?

They write their goals. They write it, they keep it close, and they work hard to make their goals come true.

I was always the lazy one to write my goals in motivation camps during UPSR, PMR, and SPM. At that time, I thought, "Que sera, sera." Whatever will be, will be. Apa nak jadi, jadi la.

Now, seeing their success, I think I should write my own goals from now on.

1) I want to stop being mediocre, and score at least 4 dean list award during my study.

2) I want to further my studies overseas, and work in a University either in Japan of USA. So that I can teach either Malaysian studies or ESL.

3) I want a Professor in my name.

4) I want oopsmytongueslipped.blogspot.com to have at least a thousand hits per day.

The problem with me is, I am easily distracted. I need your help. If any of you see me slacking off in my studies, please punch me hard in my face....