Monday, September 29, 2008


Taufiq tagged me..

the last 3 things U purchased?
Top up Touch n Go (for balik kampung)
Minyak Petrol (also for balik kampung)
air pandan ais at section 2 bazaar

the last 3 songs U downloaded?
Silly lily (bunkface)
Fall for you (secondhand serenade)
The hall of the mountain king (maksim)

the last 3 places U visited?
Granpa's house
Chekyam's house

3 favourite movies?
Smokin aces
scary movies, all four
definitely, maybe (the only jiwang movie that i think is good)

3 favourite possessions?
harry potter books
mp3 player
ilmu di dada dan kepala.

3 things U cannot live without?
disturbing people and causing occasional mayhem sometimes.

what would be ur 3 wishes?
George bush will be dead
semua lecturer2 bersepakat sempena raya ni diorang bagi A++ kat suma student
dapat 1000 wishes more

3 things u haven't done yet?
make my blog become famous worldwide
create a poem for mission confession
drift a car

3 favourite dishes?
Secret Recipe's vietnamese beef noodle
Chicken rice shop's braised chicken set
jCo's oreo donut

3 celebrities U wanna hang out with?
Afdlin Shauki
50 cent

3 things that freak U out?
DARKNESS. (If it weren't for my roomate, i'd sleep with the lights on)
horror movies

3 unusual things U are good at?
digging my nose while shifting gear (leaves the steering wheels unattended)
camwhoring. my camwhoring pics can make you weep.
cooking western foods. (sape nak homemade spageti alfredo? tak main la instant sauce.)

3 things U are coveting?
new laptop
new handphone
new house

3 bloggers U are tagging?
sape sape saje.....

Random thoughts on last thursday

Thought of updating last Thursday, but haven't got hold of Internet connection ever since. Blame Aziz. He went back to Sabah for Raya too early. Hahahhaha....(Aziz, kalo ko bace, rilek ar weh, Raya kot.)


Had Japanese language class that day.

Sensei (teacher) said "tensa"( or something like it, can't remember) is train, and "chikatetsu" = underground subway.

then asked, "Putra LRT ne, tensa desu ka, chikatetsu desu ka?" (Is Putra LRT a train or a subway?)

I think it's neither. I think it's gay.

Ye lar... sometimes top sometimes bottom kot. Sah sah la flexi......


I caught a terrible flu that day. Sneezing like hell.

But it was kinda kool though. Due to the flu, I got an excellent idea for my daily tempah neraka statement making.

I got home, and one of my housemates merepek ape tah, and I just couldn't stand it. I accidentally sneezed and this statement came out.

"AAACHUUM! Alhamdulilah. But excuse me, I'm allergic to bullshit."

That my friend, has made my day. Muahahahaha....

Coz of the flu, I felt so dizzy even to walk, let alone go to class. So I skipped. When people asked me why didn't I go to phonetics class or Kesatria that day, I said "I think I'm allergic to them."

Ingatkan dah sakit tu ade la nak bertaubat....Turned out I did more sins than ever.....Isk...

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Stupid t shirt

Ana, Yuslina, Aziz and me went checking out Raya clothes at Reject Shop in Plaza Shah Alam.

Then, I saw this kinda cool looking hoodies. Thought of buying it, but canceled it at once after I read the writings.

Ready for sophisticated men??


Thanks, but I'll pass...

I prefer things coming outta my ass rather than coming in, thankyouverymuch.

No wonder it's in Reject Shop......

Monday, September 22, 2008

To Fiqah

(the left one)
I tried to text you,

but I ain't got any credit.

I tried to call you,

Same case.

Wanna drop by your house,

I dunno where

I tried sending you text message from friendster,

I got 200+ profiles to scan through...

So I just put here instead.

Happy Belated Birthday! Semoga panjang umur, Panjang akal, dan panjang apa apa lagi yg patut.(e.g, panjang kaki)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

assignment prof azie

After a couple of month being tagless,

Finally, I've been tagged! YAY! XD ..............

so the rule is:

*I challenge you to make your own list. The only catch? You can’t include a single person you know on your list. No “I love the way my husband laughs” or “I love hearing my little girl call for me.” It’ll be tough, I know. But this particular little exercise is about stripping away everyone who defines you and figuring out what you (not his partner; not their mother/daughter/sister/friend) love.

And this is what I love...

1) I love my Slip of Tongue.

2) I love saying "marah ehh...??"

3) I love watching tv in my kain pelikat, while lying on the cushions..Shirtless..

4) I love 1 jug of Iced Milo that I make everyday, while writing blogs and reading others.

5) I love poking fun at things

6) I love Chess..... I love King's Game Opening, Giucco Piano while playing it..

7) I love my stomach. They're bouncy.

8) I love midnight movies, especially while watching it alone.

9) I love procrastinating

10) I love my mp3 player. It has boom boom bass, my ears will go nuts

11) I love trying out new food.

12) I love western foods, Pizza hut especially..

13) I love making "statement tempah neraka."

14) I love watching the light reflection from the head of bald dudes.

15) I love the sound that ATM machines make when vomitting money out.

16) I love checking out hot chicks. It's a normal dude's way of appreciating the beauty of God's creation.

17) I love making fun of myself

18) I love camwhoring.

There's so much thing that I love, you'd go nuts if you read any more...Huuhuhuhu....

Monday, September 15, 2008

Stupid rip off brand name

Among the rip off brands here in Malaysia, this one takes the crown.

I can picture a situation when saying this brand would cause awkwardness, if not serious injuries......

Me : Excuse me...

lady shopkeeper : Yes... can i help you?

Me : Yes...can you tell me where i could find some "Oral Me" please...?

Lady shopkeeper: .......

Me : You know.... the kind that has flexi head...??

Lady shopkeeper: ???!!!!!

Me : The disposable one, if you got any...

Lady shopkeeper: Woi! You pervert..!!!


I gotta say... the dudes that invented this brand must be horny when he thought of this brand name.....

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Dilemma oh Dilemma....(updated)

Meet my laptop.

I hate my laptop.

Wait. That doesn't sound right.

I fucking hate it. Yeah....That's it...

Last 2 years, the left speaker got blown up causing only my right speaker to function. To this date, only my right speaker's functioning, despite showing signs of blowing up. Bunyi pecah pecah, Sound slow nak mampus eventhough I set it to the highest volume. But that's tolerable, since I have a nice noise canceling earphone.

My RAM is also showing signs of breaking down. It is so unstable that when I run programs, sometimes it automatically shuts down and I get Blue Screen of Death. I can't even move my laptop around so much as moving it would somehow fuck the the thing that connects the RAM with the motherboard and would cause starting up failure. OI! How am I supposed to do my assignments??!! Even right now, I'm posting this post using my roomate's computer.

As if both of them is not enough, my battery's leaking. It's my fault anyway. Saper suruh tak cabut plug after shut down? Right now, it's pointless for me to use the battery. Tahan 15 MINIT JE KOT. Start2 je dah kong. WTF? That's why I resorted to just taking off that battery and run my laptop on AC power.

Wait, there's more. My [x] button is broken. I have to press it harder to for it to appear. Coz of that, my typing speed is somewhat reduced and I have to carefully pick words with less [x]. And I think there's no [x]es in the previous paragraphs. Hahaha...


I don't know what should I do with that thing.

If I were to repair all those things, It'd cost me this.

Speakers: Rm 250.

RAM: RM 300. ( 1 gb DDR RAMs are hard to find, and expensive.) (I need 1 gb RAM coz most of my apps require high speed processing.)

Battery: RM 350.

RM 250 + 300 + 350 = RM 900 + Kemarahan ayah aku yang ganas.

Kalo mintak duit nak repair sah sah la kene basuh dulu ngan my dad. "Tu la, Install game mengarut2. Abih hancur.."

One of my friends suggested me to buy another laptop. My laptop's old already. For me to keep repairing it would be a waste of money. Things keep breaking down, but I get things less powerful eventhough I pay high price. It's a liability.

Either way, both options require money, which is something I don't have. Maybe I should just let it be and be content with what I have. I've done it for the past one and a half year and I think I can still manage. HOPEFULLY.

Sigh... If only I can do this:

All my problems would be solved......


My laptop just got worse.

My [T] button dah nak tercabut. Dah la mahal nak tukar keyboard... RM250 kot.

So I have to update my calculation...

RM 250 + RM 250 + RM300 + RM350 = RM1150 + Kemarahan Ayah dan mak yang lebih ganas.

Nak kena cari sugar mummy nih......

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Safwan vs Rats: The Return of the Rat

Remember about my fight with a rat? (click the link to read)

I just returned from breaking fast at my brother's house last Sunday. Right after I arrived in Shah Alam, my room mate told me a rat suddenly dropped out of nowhere and landed on his shoulder while he was showering. He reckoned it dropped from the water tank inside the bathroom.

He said "It's big, it's brown, but not juicy."


The rat's back. Seems that falling out from fourth floor didn't teach that rat any lessons.

Looks like I have to open up another can of ass-whoopin'.

This time, I'm gonna be prepared.

I'm gonna be silent. I'm gonna be stealthy. I'm not gonna be easy on them.

I'm gonna buy a bottle of rat poison.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Don't read this after eating!

It was on the way back from watching midnight movies with Aziz, Fahim, and his uncle.

After watching Babylon AD, we thought of going for sahur first before returning back home.So we went to this kinda clean looking mamak restaurant near Section 7 Shah Alam.

It was around 2.30 am, so I kinda wanted something substantial, so I ordered plain rice with fried chicken on the side and curry. 

It was kinda delicious.

Until I discovered something.

I accidentally bit a piece of chicken bone, and I got it out of my mouth. I turned that piece of bone around, and I found a tiny black speck on it.

I took a closer look, it was a fly.


The head, the body, the wings, I SAW IT ALL. and that made me puke on the spot. Seriously.

I thought of getting my money refunded. But the mamak looked like an idiot. He looked like can't even understand Malay.

He looked so dumb that if I asked him his name, he'd go like this.


So what I did was just let it be. Bulan Puasa kot.

But one thing's for sure, I ain't coming back to that restaurant. Period.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

To Faculty of Education students

Do you play chess?

Do you want to represent UiTM MALAYSIA for KARISMA (Karnival Sukan Universiti Teknologi MARA) in UiTM Seri Iskandar Perak?

Come down for the selection session.

Tuesday, September 9th 2008, 3 pm, TESL Sq.

Who knows? Maybe you get to kick INTEC's ass. They're 3 years UNDEFEATED.

And we're desperately searching for women chess players.


It's no secret that I love chess.

In fact, instead of studying for tomorrow's Educational Psychology test, right now I'm studying chess. Instead of reading about Piagetian theories, I'm studying Latvian Gambit opening theories.

Needless to say, I'm pretty much screwed for tomorrow's test................

Now, where's that SandCock? Ooops, I mean Santrock. (The text book.)

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Malish language

In Malaysia, there used to be two different version of Malay Language.

The pure Malay language, and the rojak Malay language.

Pure Malay language is when you use Malay and only Malay words and forms in the sentences. For example, "Kurang bijak sungguh pemandu kereta dihadapan itu. kenapakah dia menukar lorong tanpa memberi isyarat??"

Rojak Malay language is when you "spice" it up with English words. For instance, "Fuck la orang depan tu. Tukar lane tak bagi signal WTF???"

Now, I noticed that there's another version of Malay language, which is Malish. It's the bastardized version of Malay language.

For example:


Kuasa Rejuvenasi???

REJUVENASI????? Malay language have a word called "penyegaran" ok??

Just when I thought Malay language couldn't be bastardized any further, here comes another....

KONSULTANSI??? Which word are you trying to borrow? Consultant or consultation???? Since when does English have a word called CONSULTANTION??? And why can't you say "Bilik perundingan" instead??? Is Malay language vocabulary that limited????


I love Malay language. It's beautiful. Please... Do me a favor.. If you're thinking of borrowing a word from another language to "beautify" Malay language,

Ask "Professor Safwan" before you bastardize it any further. or else I'll be bastardizing you.