Thursday, October 30, 2008
Your persuasive speech must've been awesome.
I think if I get an A for Oral Communication subject, it must have been a miracle. A divine intervention. My speech was not what you'd call awesome.
1) I was thinking about doing why we should eat more fruits. But after reading my older blog posts, I realized I blogged about people getting infected with dengue so much, I decided to change the topic. And it was exactly 24 hours before I presented. It took twelve hours for me to research, another three to construct my speech. and I have to submit psychology test on the same day and I hadn't done shit.
Coz of that, I never got a chance to memorize my speech. I can recall only gists of the paragraphs. Since I didn't want to look nervous by reading aloud my speech, half of the time was actually impromptu. I stutter like a boat stalling.
2)I said this in my speech.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I believe had we taken up actions to prevent dengue, my friends wouldn't have got infected with dengue. Yuslina wouldn't have been infected. Hidayati's housemates wouldn't have been infected. And I believe, if we take up actions to prevent dengue seriously, everyone in this room will never get infected. I bet you my left pinky finger."
Fuck. It came out before I can control it.
Oi! Stupid! What are they supposed to do with your pinky finger la idiot???!! Whack mosquitoes with it??
3) As if that's not enough, I also said this in my speech.
"[bla bla bla]. And to prevent the spreading of dengue fever, don't rely on Government's fogging. FOGGING, NOT FUCKING."
Again. A slip of tongue. And it's a tempah neraka statement.
Of course la they know what fogging and fucking is, you imbecile. And of course they would've heard it right the first time.
How in the blue hell is by fucking, we can solve our dengue fever crisis???!!!
I must have been mental, fucking up my assessment like that. It must have been because of my blog.
I knew I shouldn't have named it Slip of Tongue.
Monday, October 27, 2008
lifting my soul to the sky
If I have nine lives to live,
Wish I have you to be with
If I could make dreams come true,
of all the things I would do
I know that I would be wishing for you..
Juwita Suwito - Wishing For you
Perasaan aku skang: Jiwang karat
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Coz I sure was jealous....
Perlu lah beliau mengkhabarkan berita gembira itu dengan nada gembira melalui segala saluran media massa...
Sentap aku nyah.
I wanted to go too, you know? I was just about to record a video of me reciting a poem I wrote myself when I realized that the deadline was over.
And Herne got the invitation.
Tak boleh Jadik! This cannot be happening!
I spent the following days plotting the best way to get her.
And finally it came to me.
Who does getting people better other than Rudy and JJ from Hitz.FM itself? The lie would look more believable, and everyone would know that it was my idea, and whole Malaysia would know I was the mastermind. It's pure genius!
The Idea hatched too late. I got exactly 7 days to ask Rudy and JJ to Gotcha her.
So when I got that number, I was a bit sceptical. Betul ke ni number dia? So I had to check. I called the number.
Me : Hello? Ni Herne eh?
Her: Yep. Whassap? (Suara cam bangun tido) Sape ni?
Me: Ni Safwan ni... Nak tanya.. camne eh jalan nak ke Sunway Pyramid Dari Shah Alam?
Her: (explains panjang lebar tapi satu apa pon tak masuk sebab misi utama aku call dia hanyalah semata mata untuk make sure itu number dia. Habis Rm3 kedit aku.)
So I submitted the Gotcha application, hoping that they were able to process that form laju laju and get her.
But you know the saying.. Human proposes, but God disposes.
And God must love her so much coz the Gotcha application never went on air......
Moral of the story: I'm not evil enough.
Had I been evil enough, the plan would hatch the very moment she told me she's going to Camp Rock Malaysia.
Herne, Aku still tengah pikir camne nak kenekan ko.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Nazmi...Sorry....I had to do that....
Blame the psychology experiment my lecturer asked me to do.....
I'm really really sorry that my breath that day really stoinks....
Later when you grow up, I'll treat you to a really nice Satay Kajang...
Monday, October 20, 2008
· Pick your birth month.
. Strike out anything that doesn't apply to you.
.Bold (or italicize) the best apply to you.
. Tag 5 people.
so here goes...
NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.
JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.
FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.
APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.
MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.
JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.
SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer.Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.
DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.
i'm tagging:kayne - the chronicles of kayne
Been feeling kinda shitty for these past few days....
I'm like Severus Snape.
She is Lily Evans.
I'll leave it to you to figure out.
(Not the sekolah menengah girl.)
It sucks to have people telling me what I should do about me.
You ain't my(boss/mom/girlfriend/gundik/wife/father/boyfriend/husband,scandal). Potong yang mana tak berkenaan.
Assignments keep piling up,
Datelines closing in,
Yet I'm still in La la Land.
I need somebody to slap me back to reality. Herne, kau kata nak slap aku kalo aku slacking off my studies? Nanti kat faculty tempeleng aku laju laju eh?
Laptop buat hal lagi
I give up. I'm done repairing that shit.
There're more things that I am upset about...But I guess I better stop here before any tempah neraka statements are made and hearts are hurt.
(Hati diorang aku jaga, diorang jaga ke hati aku?)
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Aina, Jeng dan Fiqah telah bersatu padu untuk menge-tag aku. Tak sangka korang sayang aku....
My top 10 favourite food.
- Telur Bungkus Masakan mak
- Paru Goreng Lada
- Kekda's chocolate chip with almond cookies. Heaven siot! Ala2 Famous Amos!
- Nasi Lemak kukus
- Alfredo spaghetti Kekda masak satu ketika dulu
- Pau daging Black Pepper Kekda masak lagi
- Vietnamese beef noodle at secret recipe
- Kueteow sup at Anis Sup Utara
- burger king's Double Whopper blackpepper with cheese.
- Pak Li's Ipoh Iced white coffee
10 Things I love doing
- watching movies
- trying out new foods
- playing with nazmi
- Flirting with hot chicks. Itu naluri normal seorang jejaka single yang normal.
- Jalan jalan tanpa tujuan
- Chess (DIRIKU OBSES!)
- Statement Tempah Neraka
5 Types of girls that I adore
- Chinese look
- Covers her aurat
- wear spectacles. Rimless preferred. Nampak matured..
- Optimum level of gedik-ness. too little gedik would make me feel like talking to a man, too much gedik, it feels like .........ehem..........Better not make tempah neraka statements......
5 Things I love doing when I'm feeling down
- watch midnight movies alone.
- mencarut. my vocabulary contains thousands of swear words in 4 different languages. malay, english, japanese, and Jawa.
- Jalan jalan tanpa tujuan
5 Things I love doing when I'm happy
- Blog jugak
- Kacau orang
- ketawa out loud
- dance. Konon2 perasan melbourne shuffler, padahal steps cam haram.
10 Ways to win my heart
- plays chess
- cooks decent dishes
- loves me because of me
- pandai ambik hati mak mentua
- pandai nyanyi
- seorang yang tak kisah berpacaran/berkahwin ngan lelaki berbadan ala ala sumo wrestler
- one who would go miles for me
- not lesbian
My top 5 most favourite junk food
- ice cream
- spicy mcChicken Deluxe
- Whopper burger king
5 Things I wish it could happen soon
- Dean of faculty belanja makan
- George w Bush masuk Islam
- Jumpa pasangan hidup
- Nazmi yang akan membesar ni masih menjadi kiut cam time2 baby
- world peace.
10 Ridiculous things I wish to do before I die
- reduce my weigh from 111kg to 78 kg.
- get a job with five figure salary
- drive a F1 car
- Drive a bus
- Beat Vishwanathan Anand, an International Grand Master of chess.
- drive Aston Martin DB9
- contesting for Cleo's 50 Most Eligible Bachelor
- drink coffee sampai tak tidur 3 hari
- Teach English to Nazmi. Abih rosak anak abg aku....
My top 10 recently most addicted song
Not that recent....but this is what I usually listen to...
Sky is over - Serj tankian
Any song from System of A Down
Croatian rhapsody - Maksim *all time favorite*
Flight of Bumblebee - Maksim*all time favorite*
Tango in ebony - Maksim *all time favorite*
Lucky-colbie caillat and jason mraz
How to save a life - The fray
Tinggalkan aku - Anuar Zain
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I got paid ten million euros to kill Malaysian Prime minister.....
5 million in advance, 5 million after I do him.
But I haven't given my answer yet...
The boss expected me to give the reply tonight after sleeping, before 4 a.m....
Should I do him?
He's old and next year he's retiring.... Dah nak mati pon kut.... kesian la nak tembak orang tua tuh....
Ps: jangan la taruk aku dalam ISA....Aku nak sharing mimpi je kot...Isk....
Monday, October 13, 2008
(both literally and figuratively)
my friend, Agung, Afnan, and Cipet invited me to play futsal with him along with their friends.
FYI, I haven't been working out since the end of first semester. I played basketball then. Being invited to play futsal last night was Godsent. On the last day of Ramadhan, I weighed 104 kg. when the class resumed, I weighed 111 kg.
That's why I can't join any campings. I'd ruin the hammocks. Hahaha....
So we played futsal in Sports city near Plaza Alam Sentral . It was 12 am, and it was quite cold.
At the first 3 minutes, I can still keep up with those guys.
Next 3 minutes was hell. Semput Pak Cik nak kejar korang! Sekor2 laju cam pelesit! So I played goal keeper. I made decent saves, while missing out silly ones. We were outscored by 1 to 30.
So I switched positions with Afnan for a while. That dude was tired as hell, it would be inhumane for me to watch him run in agony..
Agung made his run. Two defenders were marking him. He passed it to Yusof. He did some samba with the ball, and managed to get into the penalty zone. But the defenders kept close. Being desperate for space, he passed to the only person free from defender, me. At that time I was in the middle of the field.
I got the ball, and I kicked that ball as hard as I could, imagining that it was George Bush's ass. It flew,
and I scored! woo hoo! For the first time in twenty years, I scored a goal! hahaha....!
I feel fantastic!
I feel happy to the highest degree!
Until Cipet and his gang slaughtered us......
Thursday, October 9, 2008
You are Hulk
|You are a wanderer with|
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz
No wonder hot chicks avoid me......I'm green...
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
If you've read my older blog posts, specifically from Women are from Venus category, I bet you'll know that I never, and I mean NEVER EVER had any special relationships with a girl before. I have no girl to call her "sayang", "baby", and the likes of it. It sucks to see your friends being happier than before that they have someone special, and I'm stuck being girlfriendless.
It's not that I never tried or loved anybody before , but the thing is, when I loved somebody she'll be in one of these situations:
a) single but not available.
Due to principles of life. This one, I can accept it. Who am I to force love out of somebody?
b)Already got one.
I'm not the kinda guy who likes to fuck up other's happiness for my own. It's true that they're not married yet, and even married couples crumble. But it's just not me. I'm no Casanova y'all.
c)The girl is outta my league.
Happens a lot of time. I remember vaguely that one of my Ustaz once said, the husband is supposed to tarbiyyah the wife. I'm not quite sure, but I think it sounds a bit like that. And I'm not a Holy Man. I'm just a dude trying the best he can. Besides being out leagued by her piousness, sometimes her family background also made me kinda afraid... The thing is, people talk. People judge. You can try to explain, but in the end, people still talk. They believe what they choose to believe. I used to be called a pisau cukur, juust because she's an anak datuk. WTF??
And now, I think I can add another on the list.
A few days ago when it was still Ramadhan, I sent out a happy raya message to nearly 100 of my friends. Not bullshitting you. Cost me about Rm10 to send all those.
One of them is a friend of mine, Suharin. Below are messages I sent and replied by "him".
Me : Selamat Hari Raya.. Maaf sangat2 kalo ade wat salah ape2..Free2 dtg la JB...hehehe..
Su : Selamat hari raya jugak! Free2 datang la kedah! Erm.Ni SApE eh?
Me : Ni la Abang leman... (one of my nickname)
Su : Abang Leman? sape ni?
me : ni brother bear la sengal.
Su : Sape brother bear?
Me : serius tak lawak. ni safwan la weh..
su : Ni eira la...orang Kedah... Awak salah nombor kot..
Me : ye ke? eh sorri lar eh...Raya kot...hehehe..... XD
Su : Takpe....
Chis.... Suharin... tukar nombor without telling me.... sampai ati...
I thought it was my last message with her, until the next day, she texted me. At this point, I was kinda curious. Who was I texting? So I decided to get to know her, and I did. Turned out she's a pleasant girl. A younger girl. Sekolah Menengah type of young.
I don't care. I think she's nice. And I feel kinda good talking to her. I don't know why, but it's like taking a breath of fresh air after spending a lot of time sucking polluted city air. In short, it's like being in my kampung in Terengganu, minus the cow shits. We kept in touch via messages and I find her to be a pleasant person to talk to.
A few days later, while I was studying about chess from a book, she texted me.
Her: Hi.... Tgh wat ape tu....?Bz ker?
Me : Eh tak aih..Tgh main chess ngan member...(Padahal main chess sorang2... time tu, I tengah bukak buku, bukak papan chess, recreate chess masters past games and analyze. kalo bgtau dia yang nih, sah2 la dia freak out)
Her : Seronok ker main tu? cam boring jer....
me : Seronok la gak kalo dua2 nerd pasal benda nih....hahaha..
her : ooo ok..... taknak ah kaco awk men chess... slalu org men chess ni nak kena konsentret.....
me : ok.. nite2..
Turned out that it was the last message ever.........
Dammit..... I was about to score.....
Salahkah aku menjadi seorang chess nerd.................?
Adakah chess itu sejenis Instant Chick Repellant...........?
Monday, October 6, 2008
To cool off the crankyness, I went to McDonald's Section 18.
Friday, October 3, 2008
The nephew must be like a tok moh in training, that he suggested such methods.
Or maybe the next Ayah Pin.
Claiming having divine revelation.PTUI! WTF? What does he think he is? Some kinda Rasul or something??
And the couple.....
OMFG....... (Oh My Fantastic God...)
Can't believe they're gullible enough to believe that......
I bet if I told them my piss tastes like Coke, they'd drink it.
1. Making tempah-neraka statements is compulsory for daily stress relief. No one is safe from me....Muahahaha...
2. Contrary to what people might think, I'm actually lampi. Lambat pickup. I'm pretty much slow in picking up sarcasms...
3. I'm afraid of darkness. Every night, I sleep with the lights on. But since I have a roomate, I have to sacrifice......
4. I love trying out new foods. Provided that it is halal. When I was 6, I didn't know a single English word, yet still had the guts to try bacon. Turns out that it is pork. Vomited like pili bomba.
5. I love to think outside of the box, but the outside of the box turns out to be the inside of the box of somebody else. So I think I have to think inside of the box, yes?..............
When Harry Potter book 6 came out, it got R.A.B there, and I figured out it must be Regulus Black, and I was right! hihihi..Though I never figured out what A stood for.... I used to think the A stands for Azman, making Regulus Azman Black. Sounds kool, innit?
6. so in love with my own stomach....So bouncy....and a good weapon of mass destruction...Hempap-ing people is my hobby...hehehehe
7. I wish I have enough Raya money to buy a chess book.....
Tagging: Sape2 yang rajin tatkala membaca.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
During the fasting month, we celebrated the safe return of my brother from London for some computer project thing at Grand Season Hotel.
It was one helluva buffet. The foods were awesome. There's so much to choose, you'd go nuts. After giving much thought, this is what we ate. And this was just the first round.
And my Chicken Tika Shawarma. (I nearly misread this menu the first time I read it. I thought it said Chicken Tika "SHARMUTAH", which is not a very good name. Google sharmutah if you wanna know.);P
Hafiz's tomato rice with Chicken Tika.
Kak Yuni's Cake with Bread Pudding.
And for some strange reasons, I felt like eating sushi to go with it.
At the end of the day, this is what we looked like.
I'm sorry if I did something wrong to you, and if you did something to me, pay me duit raya first only then kira settle.hehehe...No lah.. I forgive and forget.
I have a few sorry shoutouts to be made...:
1) to syamil for posting this entry. Although you approved this entry, I still feel kinda guilty...
2) to all of you because I put some profanities here and there. (ok.... A LOT ACTUALLY...)
3) to the victims of my tempah neraka statements.
4) to this hospital I don't wanna mention which, for poking fun at its menu.
Selamat hari raya again people!
Drive carefully. Think of your assignments pending and your group mates. You can make a lot of difference.