New Moon poster got me thinking

I noticed something about the New Moon.

Look at the poster.





Why there is no black vampire?

Is it because no vampire wants to bite a black guy? Damn racist.

I asked Nashrah, a friend of mine, whether there are any black vampires. She said there is one, but he's one of the bad guys.

Double racist, if you ask me...... Hahaha


P/s: Watched Twilight recently... Still, couldn't bring myself to understand what's the fuss about the whole Twilight saga.

satu post nakal dari anak nakal.

One fateful day before the semester starts.


Situation: My mom, my dad, Hanim my sister and me were having lunch.


Hanim: Ayoh, ayoh sayang orang dok?

Dad : (Malas nak layan) Sayang sikit sikit. (Lalu menyuap nasi dalam mulut.)

Hanim: Ayoh sayang mak dok?

Dad : Malas jawab. (Sambil menggumpal nasi dalam pinggan.)

Hanim : Kenapa?

Dad : Kekgi Wang tulis dalam blog dia.


Lantas dia mengambil nasi yang digumpal tadi untuk dimasukkan ke mulut, tapi dia masukkan slow slow. Kadar kunyahan 0.5 rpm. Satu tenungan tajam diberi dari ayah aku. Muka threatening. Serious macam villain villain cerita James Bond. Tapi aku maintain kool. Siap gelak gelak.

Oh Ayoh. Ketahuilah bahawa anakmu yg tengah ni mempunyai 1001 idea idea nakal untuk mention Ayoh dalam blog Wang dan nampak kiut.

Selamat Hari Lahir ke-61, Encik Abu Bakar.

Tua macam mana pun anda, anda tetap hensem.

Picture taken 2 years ago in Langkawi Island.

P/s: Ayoh nak cakap ayoh sayang Mak la tu, kan, kan? Betul tak? Hehehehehe....

Well spent Holiday/Strange game

Awww......


It's a cute lookin thing, isn't it?


Kinda makes you wanna shoot an arrow right through his stupid head, doesn't it?

I feel the same way too.....

Since the start of the holidays, I've been wasting my time playing this game. It's called Ragnarok. I blame Jeng for this. He gave it to me. He made me an addict of this game.

Basically what you do is you create a character, walk around, kill monsters, gain money, upgrade weapons, kill more monsters and play dress up. SERIOUS.

******************************

Like in the real world, my character fails on the fashion department. It's friggin ugly. It's all because of my lack of fashion sense. And another one is because my character is broke.

So there was this one fortunate day when my character had lots of money, I went out for a shopping spree. I was walking around town looking for bargains and stopped abruptly once I saw this dubious fella just around the corner.

What in the world...?????

He changes WHAT????

Dem!~

Apparently, this is one of the feature of the game! Just talk to the dude and he'll swap your genitals!

Cool eh?

And just for the fun of it, I talked to the dude.





I picked the first option, and guess what, he said this!

Oh My Goat.

He asked another question whether I want to continue being a male or change to female. He then asked me to pay him some fees and provide him some items if I were to change my gender.

The way he put it, he made it sound so easy to change one's gender. Pay him, give him things, and they're good to go. No wonder more people are changing sexes in the real world nowadays.

Immediately, I declined the guy's offer.

I'm not ready to let go of my Big Bird.

Satu perbuatan nakal dari pak cik yang nakal

Padan muka mu Nazmi.

Wawang letak gambar mu dalam blog Wawang.

Sapa suruh tinggal Wawang pegi Langkawi?

Wakakaka~

Balik nanti beli coklat banyak2 kat Wawang eh?

Kalo tak nanti Wawang letak lagi gambar mu dlm blog Wawang......

Hehehehe~




p/s: Wawang is what he calls me. Apparently Wang is harder for him to remember than Wawang. Kinda funny how baby's brains work, doesn't it?

Moja will be pissed off with this post. I think.

A good friend of mine, Afnan, challenged me to write something about politics.

As I have always said before, Politic is like a vacuum cleaner; it sucks.

But to hell with it, I'm gonna try anyway. I ain't a wuss.



***********************************



One of the assignments for my Methodology of Teaching Listening and Speaking Class (MTLS) was to do a mock teaching individually for 20 minutes..

A friend of mine, Azie went for the topic unity. It was a good lesson. She was not boring at all. After the lesson, she gave us "homework" to be completed, so I did it.

It was only a page of question, but there were no text to refer to. We were asked to listen to a song and did some discussions and then something else I forgot and then it's over. But it was easy questions. Ok la for a 20 minutes lesson.

I completed the homework in about five minutes.

But I think I can do it in three if it weren't for this question.

Tu dia adik kakak.

If this is a real homework in a real school, I'm a dead meat.

Teacher Azie might give me a detention class.

Forgotten picture

I forgot that I took this picture a couple of months ago.


*******************************************************************


At that time, my Principles of Testing and Evaluation lecturer asked the whole class to complete a survey.

I didn't know the purpose of the survey, maybe for his own research.

So I did my best to answer the question.

The thing was that, the survey contained so much jargon and terms that we were unfamiliar of. What do you expect from barely 3 meetings of class?

It was about transformative teaching or something and evaluation yadayada... Can't remember.

With so much jargon and bombastic sentences in the questions, I was immediately bored of answering the survey.

So you can't blame me when one of the questions asked me

"What kinds of transformative teaching that your institution is currently undertaking?",

I answered this.

MEGATRON.

Why Learning Grammar is Important.

This is why learning grammar is important.

So kids, don't skive off schools, or else, you'll become like the people who made this advertisement.........







BECOUSE????

TRUSTERED???

My God, the grammar alone can give a teacher heart attack........

But the cherry on top has to be this.


"Want to pampers your 'feet?' "


Thanks to them, I'm thinking about my body parts other than my feet.

pewangi lucah

This has got to be the most obscene cleaner....






Pepek semerbak????? Dem~ Hihihihihi~ Somehow, I can imagine a situation when saying this brand name would raise eyebrows.....


Gadis A: Weh, mintak Pepek ko. Sikit je aku nak..

Gadis B: What????

Gadis A: ala... Yang semerbak mewangi tu......

Gadis B:??? Gila apa!??

Gadis A: Ala.... Sikit jer.... Please....

Gadis B: Ish ko nih! Aku bukan orang camtuh! Cuba insaf sket.....Ingat Allah banyak banyak....

Gadis A: Tak nak bagi sudah...! Orang nak pinjam sabun nak basuh bilik air pon kedekut taik idong masin...!

Gadis B: .................[speechless]

(The picture was given to me by Nadzrah.)

Violent psychology experiment

Nazmi...Sorry....I had to do that....

Blame the psychology experiment my lecturer asked me to do.....

I'm really really sorry that my breath that day really stoinks....

Later when you grow up, I'll treat you to a really nice Satay Kajang...

huhuhu...

Stupid ritual....

This has got to be a roll-on-the-floor-laughing-out-loud-stupid-tok-moh-ritual.

Read here.

The nephew must be like a tok moh in training, that he suggested such methods.

Or maybe the next Ayah Pin.

Claiming having divine revelation.PTUI! WTF? What does he think he is? Some kinda Rasul or something??

And the couple.....

OMG....

OMFG....... (Oh My Fantastic God...)

Can't believe they're gullible enough to believe that......

I bet if I told them my piss tastes like Coke, they'd drink it.

Random thoughts on last thursday

Thought of updating last Thursday, but haven't got hold of Internet connection ever since. Blame Aziz. He went back to Sabah for Raya too early. Hahahhaha....(Aziz, kalo ko bace, rilek ar weh, Raya kot.)

***************************************

Had Japanese language class that day.

Sensei (teacher) said "tensa"( or something like it, can't remember) is train, and "chikatetsu" = underground subway.

then asked, "Putra LRT ne, tensa desu ka, chikatetsu desu ka?" (Is Putra LRT a train or a subway?)

I think it's neither. I think it's gay.

Ye lar... sometimes top sometimes bottom kot. Sah sah la flexi......

***************************************

I caught a terrible flu that day. Sneezing like hell.

But it was kinda kool though. Due to the flu, I got an excellent idea for my daily tempah neraka statement making.

I got home, and one of my housemates merepek ape tah, and I just couldn't stand it. I accidentally sneezed and this statement came out.

"AAACHUUM! Alhamdulilah. But excuse me, I'm allergic to bullshit."

That my friend, has made my day. Muahahahaha....

Coz of the flu, I felt so dizzy even to walk, let alone go to class. So I skipped. When people asked me why didn't I go to phonetics class or Kesatria that day, I said "I think I'm allergic to them."

Ingatkan dah sakit tu ade la nak bertaubat....Turned out I did more sins than ever.....Isk...

Stupid rip off brand name

Among the rip off brands here in Malaysia, this one takes the crown.





I can picture a situation when saying this brand would cause awkwardness, if not serious injuries......


Me : Excuse me...

lady shopkeeper : Yes... can i help you?

Me : Yes...can you tell me where i could find some "Oral Me" please...?

Lady shopkeeper: .......

Me : You know.... the kind that has flexi head...??

Lady shopkeeper: ???!!!!!

Me : The disposable one, if you got any...

Lady shopkeeper: Woi! You pervert..!!!

******************************

I gotta say... the dudes that invented this brand must be horny when he thought of this brand name.....

Malish language

In Malaysia, there used to be two different version of Malay Language.

The pure Malay language, and the rojak Malay language.

Pure Malay language is when you use Malay and only Malay words and forms in the sentences. For example, "Kurang bijak sungguh pemandu kereta dihadapan itu. kenapakah dia menukar lorong tanpa memberi isyarat??"

Rojak Malay language is when you "spice" it up with English words. For instance, "Fuck la orang depan tu. Tukar lane tak bagi signal WTF???"

Now, I noticed that there's another version of Malay language, which is Malish. It's the bastardized version of Malay language.

For example:


BILIK ISOLASI?? WHAT HAPPENED TO "BILIK PENGASINGAN"???





Kuasa Rejuvenasi???

REJUVENASI????? Malay language have a word called "penyegaran" ok??

Just when I thought Malay language couldn't be bastardized any further, here comes another....





KONSULTANSI??? Which word are you trying to borrow? Consultant or consultation???? Since when does English have a word called CONSULTANTION??? And why can't you say "Bilik perundingan" instead??? Is Malay language vocabulary that limited????

********************************************

I love Malay language. It's beautiful. Please... Do me a favor.. If you're thinking of borrowing a word from another language to "beautify" Malay language,



Ask "Professor Safwan" before you bastardize it any further. or else I'll be bastardizing you.

Strange picture

Just realized that this picture existed in my laptop.

Kinda strange, see?

I looked like I got a divine revelation, my brother looked like he got a divine retribution.

So guys, never mess with a Sumpah laknat.

Kopi Kaw

Have you watched this?

It's Obviously Banned Commercial....

It's hilarious, I tell you!

Made by a friend of mine with his production team, YUMEcolors.

Check it out!

Burning questions

Before we go further, I want to make it clear that I do not support any political parties whatsoever. Malaysian politics are too boring anyways. I'll try to be as impartial as I can..

Now, Anwar Ibrahim faces yet another charge of sodomy.

I simply can't grasp the concept of sodomy.
What kind of fun is it that you get when you insert your big bird into another man's shit hole?
To me,It's just plain disgusting. Stupid Gay-ism. If this is Zaman Nabi, Malaysia will be obliterated from the earth.

Back to Anwar's case.

In this case, I don't know what to believe in.

If 1998's case was a true case, obviously doing jail time failed to deliver the punishment. If 1998 case was a set up, then the conspirators are maybe out of ideas on how to pin that guy down.

Maybe the conspirators thought the rakyat will believe it, you know? They say he did it in 1998, why not have a 10 year anniversary celebration by sodomizing someone else in 2008?

That's why I will not pass my judgment into this matter until I can ask a few questions to the victim.


1) How big Anwar's dick is?
Is it long and hard or short and limp? You'll know it because you've been sodomized by him on repeated accounts as you claim here.

2) Why didn't you report it the first time he had sodomized you?
Please don't tell me you were enjoying those.. (I'm joking...) If your safety was threatened, I can understand..

3) I don't see any defense wound you inflicted on Anwar. Were you resisting him at all during those accounts?
Scratch his face maybe, or maybe tied his dick into a knot or whatever...? Besides, you didn't tell us about your injuries.. In the papers you merely said you submitted your medical reports, and basically that's it. No details made public....


These are the burning questions I want to ask the victim. Just so I know that what he claimed is not a political conspiracy set up by the higher ups.

Conspiracy or not, either way, I couldn't care less. Politic sucks more than a vacuum cleaner. Period.

Geez, I must've been watching too much Prison Break. Conspiracies and all.. Better play DotA...

Stupid headline

Since my parents are going to Umrah tomorrow, they need to get their money changed.

So, off we went to a money changer somewhere in Kota Tinggi.

Then I spotted this.





Watafak....??? SURELY it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out THAT??!!

I mean, WHO WOULD BE STUPID ENOUGH TO DRAW HIMSELF MONEY????!!




Apparently, that person would be me......





So much for my new Ferrari.....

Euro

Friends that have known me very well would say that I pretty much hate football. And they're quite right.

I have tried my best to grow interest about this sport, but somehow, it's just not working..I watched games, played it on the computer, played it in real life with my friends, but it wouldn't grow on me.

However, the worst part is, it's a norm that guys like sports, such as football. Being a guy that hates football would raise awkwardness in society.

"Seriously, a guy who hates football? He must be gay."

Oi! I am straight OK! I prefer things coming OUT of my ASS rather that going IN, thankyouverymuch.

So, to save my dignity, I will try to write about Euro, since it's the current big thing in football world.

If I were asked who I'd like to see as Euro winner, I'd say any team will do as long as it's not Italy. The headbutt incident during the last world cup still pisses me off. Why in fuck's name must Materazzi insult Zidane's family? That's a kick to the groin, that is. A cheap shot. He knew France was winning and that dumbfuck had to have poor guy's bald head fucked up pretty good. And too good in fact that poor guy was sent off.

I've always liked England, cause they're supposed to have Beckham and the other one doing Celcom ads (I dunno his name), but since they're not qualified, I would have to choose another team, I suppose...

I also like France, coz they've got Thierry Henry. From what I've heard, he's supposed to be a good player. But without Zidane, France's attacking front is really in trouble.

So, right now, my money is on Netherlands. If France can somehow work out a miracle and qualifies for the next stage, I choose France instead.


I think France vs Italy match is in progress right now. Maybe I should watch this grudge match..It should be interesting..

PHEW, Glad I can write about football without sounding stupid. Now I can proudly say that I'm not gay. Haahahaha.......

How people like things - seen by me

It all started out in a Yahoo Messenger chatroom.
[cornholio_denali is me, yuffiesilver is my friend]

yuffiesilver: lol at the zohan poat
yuffiesilver: *post
yuffiesilver: anyway here's mine
yuffiesilver: http//******
yuffiesilver: http://********

***After a while from reading her blog***

cornholio_denali: kool2..
cornholio_denali: still with ur fanaticism with korean stars, i see..
cornholio_denali: hehehe
yuffiesilver: not fanaticism
yuffiesilver: fangirlism
cornholio_denali: what's the difference...?
cornholio_denali: everything u do, you must have their faces
cornholio_denali: hehehe
cornholio_denali: ur friendster, myspace,
yuffiesilver: really ah?
cornholio_denali: ur blog also
yuffiesilver: im a healthy fan
cornholio_denali: ......
cornholio_denali: hahaha
yuffiesilver: im not that obsessed but i do get lost looking at their pics
yuffiesilver: until i almost mistakenly call my senior chang min
cornholio_denali: ????!!!!
cornholio_denali: hahaha...
cornholio_denali: admit it...
cornholio_denali: u r obsessed..
cornholio_denali: even can't differentiate ur senior's face from changmin
yuffiesilver: i can actually
yuffiesilver: but bila ternampak dia senyum, teringat pulak kat senyuman si changmin tu

......................

That's not the end of the chat, but I purposely cut out the end part of our conversation as it contains private stuffs. Definitely not for your ears.

Not THAT kind of private, if you must know ;)

Anyway, after chatting with her, I noticed that when it comes to liking something, there are three kinds of interaction between the subject and the object. I may be wrong, but this is what I can see...

1) "The Regular I-Kinda-Like-This-Thing"

These are the kind of people who like something, and basically that's it. The thing that they like do not interfere their daily life in anyway whatsoever. They eat rice, drink water, shit healthy shits, and stuffs other normal people do. For example, I kinda like Nissan GTR coz it's a cool car. It's sexy and it gets whoever fortunate enough to afford one from A to B unnecessarily quick. Go ahead and say "Eh, Ferrari is better lah..." and I wouldn't waste my time on trying to persuade you to like Nissan GTR.


2) "The Die-Hard-Fan"

These are the kind of people who like the thing and no else. For example I have a friend who likes Manchester United. He eats Man U, drinks Man U, and sleeps Man U. Because of the excessive intake of daily "Man U-ness", I have a strong feeling that he pisses and shits Man U as well. Just for the fun of it, I walked right up to him one day and said "Fuck Man U. Chelsea'll kick your sorry lil' ASS! Mwahahahahahahahaa!" After that, he didn't speak to me for the whole school session. Even to that extent...


3) "The Zen Fan"

These people are hard to spot. These are the kind of people who like the thing very very and I mean VERY MUCH but never admit it. On the surface they look like just what average joes look like, but when no one's around, they indulge in the guilty pleasures... For example, I have a friend who dresses like rockers. He listens to rock songs like Mudvayne, Metallica, Children of Bodom, System of a Down and the likes, but on one fateful day, I caught him singing ANUAR ZAIN in the shower.

"Ku percaya jua...Sesucinya cintamu...."

Caught red-handed, he warned me never to tell anybody. But "oops, my tongue slipped. Hehe"

An evidence of my stupidity

I was browsing the phone book of my handphone to delete some numbers. I have around 450 numbers stored, and which only five of them I contact frequently. It was a mess...

Then I stumbled upon my old friend's number. Though he may deny it, I think he's some kind of a hot stuff. Chicks like him and guys hang out with him often. He's like Austin Powers of The New Millennium, if you ask me.

Being the desperate "girlfriend-less" guy, I asked him for advice. There's this 1 "session" with him that got stuck in my mind harder than gam gajah.

Me : Camner ar ko bagitau ko suke seseorang...?

Him : Bagitau je la..Ape susah.. Nape? Ko suke someone ke?

Me : Ye la... Dah lame aku simpan siot.. Ko kan ade pengalaman... Ko coachkan aku ayat dia bole?

Him : Tengok ah dulu..Ape yg payahnye..?

Me : Kalo aku jumpe dia kan, mesti gagap dow... tak tau nape.. takde modal siot nk ckp ngan dia..

Him : Takde modal? Kalo gagap aku bole terima. Takde modal payah aku nk percaya. Ko ske ke tak dia tu sebenarnye?

Me : Agak ah..

Him : Ko biar benar.. Aku tengok dia tu bukan taste ko.. Ko pon bukan taste dia..

Me : Aku suke dia gitu gitu jer.. Tengok orang len ade gf aku pon nk try ah..Ape best sangat couple couple ni...Slalu aku tgk time sebelum couple tu diorang dok dua dua tu diorang ckp ape sebenarnye?

Him : Tengok ah.. Lain orang, lain... Tu ko kene blajar sendiri ar..

Me : Abih ko ngan girlfriend ko dulu ko ckp ape time tu?

Him : Nape ko nak tau?

Me : Saje nak tau... Kalo best aku try arr kat dia..

Him : Pale Hotak ko...

Me : Nanti ah aku try men Ganguro girl ke ape ke.. Training secara maya org kata..

Him : KEPALA HOTAK KO!!! Camni la gaya ko, memang sampai reput tulang ko pon takde awek lagi.

Me : Nape?

Him : Pempuan ni bukan cam Ganguro girl, lahanat. Ari ni cakap bende ni. Esok bagi hadiah ni. Lusa terus kapel. Bukan camtu dow..Sengal la ko ni...

Me : Oh, bukan eh? Thee heeeheeehee...

*******************************************************************

See how pathetic I am..Hahaha... It takes me almost 19 years to realize that women in reality and in games are different...

Anyway, he recommended reading "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". He says this book has helped him a lot, and reckons it will help me too. Now reading the first chapter, and I can really feel my Austin Powers mojo shaping up. Hehehehe...

Groovy baby...