Workshop name FAIL

Since I will be returning to Shah Alam the day after tomorrow, I asked my dad to send the car to be serviced.

My dad, who had a previous upsetting event with EON Service Center, sent the car out to a regular joe's workshop to be serviced.

To his surprise, however, he noticed that the regular joe's workshop turned out to be quite popular among the locals.

After servicing the car, he again was pleasantly surprised that the service was far better than EON Service Center's. It took him less than two hours for the car to be completed, compared to EON's, it will take half a day. It costs less too. He then showed me the receipt to prove it to me.

RM56 for oil engine lubricant, rm8 for oil filter change, rm6 for reverse lamp bulb change, and rm10 labor charge, total RM80. Not bad. At EON's they would jack the price as high as the rainbow. The service would easily reach a hundred ringgit something. No wonder people prefer to send their cars here to be serviced.


But then when I took a look at the name of the workshop, I have another reason why the workshop is popular.

The name of the workshop is

AZLAN SMART SERVICES.

Take the initials out, then it becomes







ASS.

Enough said.

Newspaper headline FAIL

I have been meaning to post this picture for a long time, but since my computer is still not cured from the virus attack last month, I had to delay posting this picture. Otherwise, my pendrive would be infected too. And it's still not cured. I had to borrow my sister's laptop to post this.

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A couple of days ago, while reading newspaper, I noticed something fishy about the headline.




"Cinta tak halang 12 penghidap penyakit HIV/AIDS untuk berkahwin."

I never knew love was an obstacle for people to get married!

If that's so, people, DON'T FALL IN LOVE!

You'll end up breaking up.....

6 minutes.

Close your other Mozilla Firefox or Internet Explorer tabs and leave this one open.

Pause your Mp3 player. Winamp, JetAudio or whatever.

Switch to busy status in your chatting application. Facebook, YM, MSN or whatever.

For 6 minutes or so, hear the lyrics and really feel it.

And in the 6 minutes or so, remember Death.

As Nashrah puts it, It'll keep you grounded.

Drama komedi romantik insan insan pencen

A day before father's day

Situation: In kitchen, during lunch.
Person: Me, Mom, Dad. Hanim was still at school.




Mom : Wang, meh try lauk ni. Mok baru belajar.

Me: Ape nih?

Mom: Som Tam. Kerabu mangga. Mangga mai Kedah ni. Manis!

Me : Ye ke? Meh sket Wang try.

Mom: Bang, meh makan. Ade lauk I baru belajar buat ni.

Dad : AAHHH! MALAS! Dengan Wang bole la suruh try2 makanan. Ingat orang ni ape? Hish.

Mom : [went up to do the dishes] Takpe lah. Wang, makang lagi Wang. Ayoh takmboh doh lauk tu.

Me: Takpe ah mak. Tu ayah dah try dah tu. Senyap2 je dia cedok.

Mom: .................[speechless]....................

Dad: Kena hiris halus halus.... baru sedap sket.... Ehem ehem...


Ayoh,

Ayoh ni funny la.

Happy father's day untuk anda, Encik Abu Bakar.


p/s: masih belum ucapkan selamat hari bapak in person. Nanti dia ingat aku hati tisu.

You'll need a German translator for this.

Tiefe Brunnen muss man graben
wenn man klares wasser will
rosenrot o rosenrot
tiefe wasser sind nicht still.

-Rosenrot, song by Rammstein

Dengar tu safwan?

Jangan expect benda best best datang kat kau kalau usaha yang ko buat hanyalah goyang perut.


Translation:

Deep wells must be dug
If one wants clear water
Red rose oh red rose
Deep waters don't run still.

Tak ada kena mengena dengan aku, tapi aku suka.

Bitter heart, bitter heart~

This song's cool! Kinda have that Jason Mraz feel inside it.

Thank God, my ass is still intact.

This evening, I was on the KTM Komuter. I was on my way to my brother's house.

As expected, the train was as packed as sardine.

While listening to my mp3 player, I looked around checking out hot chicks. Kinda pointless really. Knowing that I won't get any.

What started out as a hot chick scanning session, it turned out to be one of the most LOL moments I ever had.

Coz I found these dude cuddling together.

"I love you baby,"
"I love you too darling."

They are both male, dressed out as straight guys, straighter than a ruler. But cuddling in the train?

WTF?

GAY!

Hahahha. So I whipped out my phone camera, set the flash to off, and took the picture.

BAD TIMING.

Apparently, the one who was caressing the other noticed me taking a picture of them. So I covered up. I pretended to answer a call. I hoped it would work.

NO IT DIDN'T.

The dude looked at me straight in the eye for a moment, scanned me from head to toe, then talked something to his partner.

I thought "Shit! This can't be good." The way he looked at me was the kind of wanting to open up a can of ass whoopin.

Or at least I thought would be.

The other dude looked at me from head to toe, then he looked at my face. And winked.

WTF? HE WINKED???

Was he hitting on me?

DEM!

They are sick!

The thing I don't get with them is of all people, why me???

I think when ordinary people would think that I am "fat and ugly ", they must've thought that I am "big and bouncy".

I would rather have the regular kind of ass whoopin than their kind of ass whoopin, thankyouverymuch.

Something's wrong in the censorship board.

Perhatian! Warning! Abunai! Achtung! Attencion!


This post contains curse words. They're not from me though (OK, SOME OF IT). If you see the curse words and can't bear with them, just replace it with nice words such as "darn", "funk" or "What the Funk".

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Long time ago, Beyonce Knowles came out with her new single "If I were a boy". When I heard it the first time, it sounded ok. It's meaningful, a hint of sarcasm on top, and mix it with a powerful voice and it's a great song that would top music charts.

Three days later, when I heard the song again in my car for the second time, I noticed something different.

The censorship board censored the song. The word "beer" was put to silent. WTF?

I think it's bloody ridiculous.

Seriously, I do.

Why bother censoring "beer"?

Is it because the censoring board are afraid that Muslims will somehow be influenced by the song and drink it?

It's not like we do not see beer advertisements in the cinemas.

If the board is censoring songs and television shows, they should censor the cinema ads first. It's much worse. Not only you HEAR the word beer, they SHOW you beer. Not only they make the beer sound good, they make it look good too.

That's more fucked up than listening to Beyonce's song, don't you think?


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If the board really wants to censor songs, here's something to think about.

Honestly, There are worse songs out there in the market that needed censoring. And they are even worse than just the word "beer".

And ironically, these songs came into our music scene without censor and some of them even got a place in our local music charts.

1) Akon - Smack that.

Smack that, all on the floor
Smack that, give me some more
Smack that, till you get sore
Smack that, oooooo..

Think, for a moment what the word "that" refer to.

Line 3 says till you get sore, so "that" must be a body part. Even though the giver is sore, the singer seems to be enjoying it that he wants more of it as stated in line 2. Regress back to line 1, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that "that" refers to another person's genitals.

And the most "WTF" thing is, that son of a b is performing in Malaysia some time later! And nobody's protesting either!

WATAFAK??


2) Love, Sex, Magic - Ciara ft Justin Timberlake

Baby, show me, show me
What’s your favorite trick that you wanna use on me
And I’ll volunteer
And I’ll be flowing and going
Till clothing disappears, ain’t nothing but shoes on me
Oh, baby....

Need I say more?

Next we have:



3) Get low - Lil Jon and the East Side Boyz ft Yin Yang Twins

This song, in my opinion is by far the most f'ed up song there is, period.

Here's the chorus.

3,6,9 damn your fine move it so you can sock it to me one mo time
Get low, Get low [x6]
To the window (TO THE WINDOW), to the wall, (TO THE WALL)
To the sweat drop down my balls (MY BALLS)
To all these bitches crawl (CRAWL)
To all skit skit motherfucker (MOTHERFUCKER!) all skit skit got damn (GOT DAMN)
To all skit skit motherfucker (MOTHERFUCKER!) all skit skit got damn (GOT DAMN)

It has got swear words, obscenity, and degrades women too. In some lyrics site I found, it said "god damn" to. If it's true, that's blasphemy as well.

But the thing that I never understand is how can people like these kind of songs?

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What I'm trying to say is, I don't care if the board is censoring stuff.

But to let the big ones get away while the minor one gets the blame?

Something's wrong in the censorship board.

Hari - hari aku masih lagi sial

Ya.

Masih agak sial.

Gambar berkoyan koyan dalam memory card handphone n kamera pinjam dari kakak aku.

Dah melimpah limpah dah.

Tapi tak dapat jolok dalam komputer.

Nanti memory card jangkit virus.

Sebab tu aku takleh update blog.

Cam haram kan?

Mp3 player aku pon tak dapat charge. Nak charge kena jolok dalam komputer jugak. Transfer lagu lagu pun tak boleh. Nanti jangkit virus, Mp3 player takleh main.

Camne aku nak menjalankan aktiviti lalai kalo takde mp3?

Fak.

Fak.

Fak fak faketi fak.


Sekarang jam 2.46 pagi.

Hari ini ialah Hari Ulanghari ke-empat komputer aku masuk virus.

(Ulanghari = lawan kepada ulangtahun.)

Dah segala macam jenis antivirus aku masuk. Still gagal. Semua detect tapi takleh buang.

Watafak?

Rasa nak tukar terus je hard disk pon ada.

Haish....

Mana la nak cari duit beli hard disk model lama nih......

Pau duit Sofia mungkin?

Eh, tak boleh.

Duit Sofia datang dari Aktiviti J.J. Haram.

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Jangan ditanya pada aku Aktiviti J.J tu apa.

Tanya Sofia. Dia expert. Tapi sekarang dah insaf.

Hari ini hari sial.

Waktu sekarang, 2.46 pagi.

Baru dua jam empat puluh enam minit lepas masuk hari selasa 2 jun 2009.

Tak sampai tiga jam.

Tak sampai tiga jam dah suwey.

Kenapalah external hard disk itu perlu ada trojan.....

Kejam betul!

Perlu ke trojan tu DELETE SEMUA VIDEO AKU, PASTU WAT COPY DIRI SENDIRI GUNA NAMA VIDEO AKU?

Abih hilang 30Gb worth of movies, funny videos, and animes.

No more corny Hollywood movies.

No more Russel Peters.

Nasib baik Nodame Cantabile selamat. Pemberian ehem ehem.

Baru nak tengok cerita Iron Chef tapi dah kena delete.

Naharam nye trojan.

Paling tak puas hati, Harold n Kumar Escape from guantanamo bay. Harold n Kumar tu! (Yus, ko simpan lagi ka?)

Rasa nak keluarkan semua carutan yang aku tau, tapi rasanya terlalu tak sesuai untuk memulakan hari baru dengan carutan.

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Goossfraba.......


Perlu tak aku nyanyi lagu kat bawah ni untuk kembalikan positiviti aku??