When my mother gave me her car, among lots of things she advised me, the one that I remember the most is
"Bawak kereta baik baik. Orang KL bawak kereta ni hati kering sikit. Biar diorang bawak laju2, bawak bahaya2 tapi jangan Wang ikut sekali..."
I said "Yeah Mama!".
After using the car for almost a year, I think she is right, like always. KL people are really "hati kering". They love to drive fast when they got the chance, they swerve into your lane without giving signals when you are driving fast, and selfish.
But I understand their situation. This is a big city. It's a fast paced society and everything needs to be done quick. Late for even 1 minute, deals will be off, and stock market will be on spiral dive.
There are, however, types of drivers that I never understand. And it's not in KL alone, but one can find these all over Malaysia. And I hate these kinds of driver.
1) Taxi driver
The thing about taxi drivers is that they are the most notoriously "hati kering" driver in Malaysia I have ever met. Why are they so hati kering when they got passengers inside?
There's this one day, I was driving back home from faculty, I arrived at a U turn. It was a taxi driver in front of me.
The taxi driver did a U turn when there was clearly a car speeding from the other side of the road. The speeding car had to do an emergency brake. The tyres screeched to a halt seconds later, stopping to mere inches from the taxi and the taxi driver just sped off as if nothing happened. I took a peek inside the taxi while it passed me, and saw it was full of passengers.
Oi! Ko bawak anak orang la weh! Mati anak orang ko nak tanggung ke?? That is just one of the many examples of taxi drivers' "hati keringness".
2) The butt-kisser and road hogger.
Butt-kisser in this context is not the kaki bodek. Butt-kisser here means following the car in front with barely a gap. This usually happens when a road hogger is present. Road hogger is the car that drives slow in the fast lane.
Both of them are stupid.
There's a slow lane if you want to drive slow for crying out loud!
Malaysian government spent millions to built three lanes a side road and you are choosing to drive slow in a fast lane? Watafak la?!
And why must the butt kisser kiss the ass of the road hogger?
Leave the butt kissing in the office, or when you want extra marks from your lecturer or some place else, but please not on the road... What happens if the car in front had to emergency brake? Eksiden la wei! Bagi horn sudah.
3) The Flasher
Not this kind of flasher,
but the kind of flasher that use the highest beam when the road is well lit. Highest beam yang pulas 2 kali pastu tarik belakang. I hate this kind of flasher. Especially if the car uses the Xenon light, the white light kind.
It's glaring, ok!
Are they that blind? If there's a car from opposite direction, use the middle beam la..You can still see the road and won't blind the car from the opposite direction.. You can find this kind of driver a lot in Shah Alam. And the most irritating part of this is in Shah Alam, most of the main road are well lit.
I can't have a bloody drive without having a bloody idiot coming from the opposite direction with highest beam setting in the night.
Light from the road + High beam from opposite car = Severe headache.
4) The Buck Futter.
Switch the words around to see what it means.
You see, the road sometimes is like an ass. When it comes to asses, things go only one way; OUT. Things should not go in. It's the same like certain roads, where you can only go one way.
So when the signboard says "One way road", it's a one way road.
Don't be a buck futter and come from the other way and honk at me when it was clearly your fault.
The other day, I was passing through a narrow lane and there was this genius coming from the opposite direction. There were cars parked at each side of the lane, and I had to squeeze through them. Worst of it was that my car doesn't have power steering. Imagine how heavy it the steering was. So I lowered my window.
Me: Bro, Ni One way la bro.
Bro: Ape? tak dengar. <-------Ego defense mechanism di sini. Denial nama dia.
Me: Ni one way! (In the most rudest way)
Bro: OOOOOO YEE keee..???? <---------------Ego defense mechanism lagi. Denial lagi.
And he drove past me, nearly coming to an inch from scratching his side mirror to my car.
I was so pissed off with the dude, I cursed him with every swear word I have in my vocabulary.
So when I found this plaque somewhere in Ole Ole, Section 18 Shah Alam,
I couldn't agree more.