Writing anxiety buat aku buat kerja gila

Writing anxity tu tajuk research proposal aku. Mungkin tukar, mungkin tak tukar.

Submit esok ok.

Tapi baru buat setakat research problem statement. suku chapter 1. Lagi 3 chapter, baru setel. Nasib baik takyah construct questionnaire. Ambik yang dah buat.

Cam haram kan?

And the cherry on top of the icing is that my lecturer wants to see chapter 1 by 4 o' clock.

TODAY.

Real brilliant kan Safwan?

Tapi yang suweynya, tengah2 anxious nak buat benda alah ni tetiba ilham lain datang. Bodoh betul.

Baca je la poem kat bawah.


******************************


Aku tak perlukan teman wanita.

Aku tak perlukan kata-kata manja.
Tak perlu aku tahu aku disayangi setinggi mana.
Tak peduli pun aku tentang betapa rindunya si dia,
merepek itu semua.
Duniawi semata.

Tak kuasa aku jaga hatinya.
Tak guna aku setia padanya.
Tak ingin bebasnya aku dipenjara.
Buang masa, buang duit bermain permainan cinta.

Haish....

Tapi kan Safwan,
Tak perlu diri sendiri di tipu...

Sebenarnya dalam hati, aku ingin rasa di rindu
Aku perlu ingin diperlu
Kadangkala teringin dipanggil "OH KEKANDA!"
Mungkin keluar sama - sama bila ada masa.

Hai...
Cinta oh cinta..
Tak hidup aku dengan kau,
Tak hidup aku tanpa kau.

Dangerous food.

A couple of weeks back, I was hanging out with my brother Hafiz it Al Rafi Bistro in Section 18.


Out of nowhere, he laughed and showed me this.





Whoa.

Better not eat this. Otherwise chains might pop out of nowhere and tie you up.

Sociolinguistic's thought paper really did some damage to my brain.

I was hanging out somewhere in Section 7 Shah Alam. Spotted this banner, pulled over and snapped a picture of a " Word Borrowing FAIL".

INSTRUKTUR.

Can somebody tell me why in the fuck's name did he borrow the word "instructor" when there's a perfect "jurulatih" word in Malay language?


OI! Jurulatih is not classy, is it?


I really really hate seeing BM being bastardized in such a way.

"This is language change. We modify BM a bit so it sounds cool, and get high status. We are changing BM for the better, this is!"

Yeah right.

It's a downright abomination.

What made these kind of people think that by borrowing and modifying words from English makes BM cool and get high status?

That shit bastardized BM.


You might be asking why I'm such a fuss about this.

The reason is I love BM. I love it as if it is my own daughter. Try having somebody making a bastard out of my daughter and tell me how you'd feel.

Shut up and listen.

To readers: Do you understand now what my problem is about?

To You: Let's not play games anymore. I've had enough learning about games people play in Transactional Analysis theory (Counseling theory).

Poem ni untuk Emir Nashriq bin Radhuan.

Khas untuk kau. Thanks sebab still kawan ngan aku dari start kita form 2 sampai skang. Dan aku harap kita kawan sampai mati. Lagi satu aku harap sajak ni tak kedengaran macam gay.


*************************************


Aku ingat lagi first time kita jumpa

Kau ingat tak peristiwa itu?
Time tu kita form two.
Baru nak start tahun baru, semester baru.
Tengah hari tu memang panas.
Sampai perut aku pon memulas.

Cikgu perhimpunan tu maybe Encik Fauzi
Dia suruh duduk, tanda dia nak bebel panjang lagi.

Aku rasa time tu kau letih benar agaknya
Tak sempat aku nak duduk kau dah bersila.
Tapi dan dan tu jugak bontot aku main gila,
Tak tahan punya pasal, kau aku terkentut kat muka.

Aku kentut slow je!
Tapi aku terperasan kau punya air muka.
Mula mula muka kau ceria,
Tiba tiba berkerut kerut, penuh tanda tanya.

"Safwan, kau bau apa apa?"
"Tak pun! Kau bau apa?"
"Ntah la weh. Bau busuk gila! Macam bangkai pun ada!
Kau kentut ke?"

Perlu ke kau tanya?
Aku terdiam seribu bahasa.
Aku rasa kau pun tahu jawapannya.
Pecah perut sial, kita ketawa!
Sampai merah kau nye muka!

Itu cerita kita time form two.
Laju kan masa berlalu?
Rasa macam baru semalam benda tu berlaku.
Kau ingat lagi tak hari tu?

Hari tu kau jadi kawan sampai mati aku.


P/s: Adil, E.G, Azli, Adly, Izham, Wan, Azim Yunus, ngan sapa2 je yang nak bahan aku pasnih, korang jangan jeles! Korang pun kawan aku. Cuma aku tak kentut kat muka korang je.

Dear You

If it's me, say it's me.

Don't leave me in the dark.

To you, that it is just a fact you withhold,

But to me, omission is a lie not being told.

Should not be banned commercial

Found these commercials on a desktop in a cybercafe at Section 2 Shah Alam.

Told Sakinah about these, and she said these commercial were sponsored by Saudi Arabian government. Don't really know about that claim though.

But it would do much good if Malaysia has this kind of commercial on the telly.







Kinda makes you want to repent, doesn't it?


P.s: This entry is not meant to declare war or being sarcastic against anybody.I'm not a holy man myself. Just a thought worth sharing.

Si Bangang, Si Jahil dan Pakcik yang Wise.

Arakian bermula satu ceritera dahulu kala, hatta Si Jahil tengah drive MALAM MALAM dari Ampang ke Shah Alam ikut MRR2, terlihat olehnya minyak dah cecah E, maka Si Jahil hinggap sebentar di Stesen Minyak Esso Cheras.

Hatta dijadikan ceritera, Si Jahil terlupa duit dah takda, so dia withdraw dalam Esso. Semasa tunggu turn withdraw di ATM, ternampaklah oleh Si Jahil akan Si Bangang bersama aweknya tengah isi minyak. Si Bangang operate pam, awek Si Bangang dok lepak dalam kereta.

Si Bangang itu berambut seperti ayam. Pakai sunglasses tengah tengah malam. Dalam hati Si Jahil, berkata olehnya "Jahil jahil aku pon takde la bangang cam Bangang tu pakai sunglasses malam malam. What the funk kan? Kesian awek tu. Ko hot tapi jantan ko otak dia tiga suku. Tak center lak tu. Baik la ko kapel ngan Muhamad Safwan. Sah sah lah hidup ko bahagia pastu. Dah la hensem. Sigh~"

Si Jahil terus perhati Si Bangang isi minyak. Si Jahil terdengar bunyi "dush" kat pam Si Bangang. Dah abis isi la tu.

Si Jahil masih scanning lagi awek si Bangang.

Tiba tiba, Si Bangang masuk dalam kereta, dengan pam masih dalam tangki minyak kereta, dia masuk gear satu dan terus chow.

POM!!!!

Bunyi salur pam minyak putus. Hatta saki baki minyak dalam salur tumpah menyembah bumi. Si Bangang terpinga pinga.Keluar teruslah akan dia dari kereta, cabut pam dari tangki kereta, taruk balik dekat pam tu, dan terus blah macam takde apa apa. Awek dia gelak gelak.

"Dah memang bangang tu bangang la jugak....Sabor je la....Seriously, awek Si Bangang, pintu hati Muhamad Safwan terbuka luas untuk kamu." Si Jahil bermonolog, simpati terhadap awek Si Bangang.

Hatta setelah kira kira sepuntung rokok lamanya, Si Jahil setel withdraw duit, bayar minyak kat kaunter dan terus pegi kereta nak isi minyak.

"Shit. Jauh la pulak pam ngan tangki. Kena ejas sket ni."

Teruslah si Jahil masuk dalam kereta, nak ejas parking. Gopoh benar Si Jahil nak adjust parking, dia terlepas clutch laju laju. Kereta melompat, enjin mati.

Kunci dipulas. Enjin tak hidup. Langsung takde spark.

Sekonyong konyong, kunci turun, Alarm trigger, dan berbunyi kuat nak mampus. Enjin masih tak hidup. Spark takde.

"Dah la kat kunci kereta memang takde remote alarm. Dah rosak 3 tahun dulu. Camne nak betulkan?" Dia menyumpah nyumpah dalam hati. Si Jahil memang Jahil bab bab kereta.

Hatta Si Jahil buat muka puppy eyes attack ala2 Shin Chan nak mintak biskut beruang dari Misae dengan harapan ada manusia hati mulia nak menolong insan Jahil tapi hensem itu.

Tapi, harapan hancur berkecaian. Si Jahil sedar, Chivalry is dead. Si Jahil mencari cari calon sesuai untuk minta tolong.

Hatta terlihat olehnya seorang pakcik tua. Satu hari lagi, cukup seratus tahun umur pakcik ni kalau di tenung gayanya.

"Pak Cik, boleh tolong saya? Saya tak reti...." Si Jahil merintih meminta tolong. Tapi di sudut hati memang tak percaya pakcik ni boleh tolong ke tidak. Dah lah tua, tengok gaya macam rumah dia dah kata pegi, kubur kata meh la lepak sini.

Hatta akubat kasihan akan Si Jahil, Pak cik itu mintak kunci kereta si Jahil. Si jahil bagi kunci. Pak Cik itu hatta masuk dalam kereta, tekan satu punat hitam kecil bawah stereng, sambil start kereta. Alarm stop bunyi, enjin terus hidup.

Macam magik.

"Tu alarm override switch tu jangan lupa letaknya mana. Next time if it happens again buat la macam pakcik buat tadi."

Lalu Pak Cik terus blah.

Si Jahil rasa bersalah. Dia tengok pakcik tadi sebelah mata. Rupa rupanya dia sebalik urat urat tua yang makin keras, tulang yang makin reput, dia menyimpan seribu ilmu. Siap Code Mixing English and Malay language tu.

Lagi satu Si Jahil sedar, Tuhan balas cash dosa Si Jahil mengumpat Si Bangang sorang sorang.....

P/s: Entri ni merepek. aku tau. update semata mata nak update.

On my way here

Clay Aiken - On my way here.

I'd rather try and fail
A thousand times denied
At least, whenever you feel pain
It lets you know that you're alive

Clay, lagu kau menusuk kalbu.

normally i don't do this....

But today I'll make an exception. I'm plugging someone's blog.

If you have been following this blog since the day it was created, you might have noticed that I rarely made grammar errors back then. And some of the sentences sound a bit British.

That, my friends are because of two things. Microsoft Word 2007 grammar check and Aziz my housemate..

He was my walking talking grammar checker until I found my confidence to proofread my own entries.

Since I haven't been asking him to proofread my blog entries, I guess he must be itching to write his own blog so he can proofread his own entries.

You can have a look here. Or you can just find his blog on my blog list on the right side of this page.

Happy reading.