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So looking forward to April 19th!

Wootwoot!

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When translations go wrong

I missed my drama practice yesterday.

I swear I could've feel the anger from the crew because I missed the practice. Sorry guys...

I totally forgot about the practice.

Totally forgot that tonight was supposed to be Ethos! AGM.

The thing was, I went to accompany Ana to Sunway Pyramid to buy Yus' birthday present.

Ana wanted to give her a CD, so we went to a CD shop.

I helped her to look for the CD, but stopped in my tracks when I saw this.

Keharuman Berahi.



....................................



Berahi.


.............................................


Roar...

No wonder people wear bikinis in the summer. Summer makes them horny.

My brother's story

My younger brother, Hafiz asked me to write his story.

Whenever he meets someone new or a person forgets his education status, he is always asked the same set of questions, without fail. Below is a sample.


Person X: Wah Hafiz! Lama tak jumpa! Camner? Sihat?

Hafiz: Ok jer.. hehehe.

Person X: Belajar kat mane skang?

Hafiz: Belajar kat MAS Engineering Training Center kat Subang.

Person X: Ambik course ape?

Hafiz: Amek course Licensed Aircraft Maintenance Engineering. Kerja repair kapal terbang.

Person X: OOO.. PILOT EHH??

Hafiz: ......................[Speechless]...........................

[Dalam hatinya: Sah sah la aku cakap aku belajar repair kapal terbang tadi, sengal! nama course pon engineering!]

Cute kah???

Actually, I have been tagged by Mumtaz a long time ago, but too lazy to do. But people have been tagging me the same tag left right and center, so I think I should do it.



1) Copy badge "2009 Cute's Blogger Award" at my blog .

2) Link/Tell something about the person who tagged you

3) Each blogger must state 10 facts about him/her before tagging others.

4) Tag another 5 blogger

5) Visit "the lucky 5" that you have tagged and leave a comment to say that you have tagged him/her.



1)

Amek hang. Takde 2009, aku buat sendirik! wakakaka.

2) I have been tagged by four persons. mumtaz, hajar, afiqah, azie. should I write about all of them?? hmm... ahh what the heck..

Mumtaz = she's a girl I know during Pre Degree TESL at Kuantan. To tell you the truth, I dunno much about her. But I do know that if after Subuh prayer she is still feeling sleepy, she'd never go to sleep directly, but read Al Quran a page or two before going back to sleep.

Hajar = A girl like sponge. She can just absorb all the inappropriate things me and Jeng taught her. I feel somewhat guilty about that, though...

Afiqah = This is a statement tempah neraka. "Don't fuck with her coz she'll fuck you back twice as hard."

Azie = She has a nice voice. Would be surprised if she can't win a singing/Quran reciting competition.


3) Da facts:

1) I hate bugs. There was this one day when I was about to do my big business in the loo and I found a bug in the toilet floor, I held "it" for about two hours. Since that day, I think my @$$#o!e has grown bigger. Blame the bug.

2) Don't be surprised if you find me laughing out loud for no reason at all even in a silent room. That's my imagination working on overdrive. Happens all the time.

3) I never give a rat's fart about Malaysian politics. politics suck.

4) Subway sandwiches is my favorite. Italian bread, steak and cheese menu with BBQ and mayo. It's heaven on earth.

5) I have lived for almost 21 years but I only beat my 19 year old brother, Hafiz in chess only twice. And that included me taking back my moves. I lost count of how many times he pulverized my @$. In less than 20 minutes.

6) I like things as simple as possible.

7) I am in dire need of a female companion. Hahahhahaha.

8) I have a lot of nicknames. Safwan, Wan, Wang, Brother Bear, Bruda Bear, Bear, Papa Bear, Abang Leman, Weng, and my personal favorite, Wawang. Nazmi my two years old nephew calls me that.

9) I love fish but often succumb to chicken's temptation

10) I am a wuss. period.


4) List of tagged people

Dont wanna tag anybody.

Forgotten picture

I forgot that I took this picture a couple of months ago.


*******************************************************************


At that time, my Principles of Testing and Evaluation lecturer asked the whole class to complete a survey.

I didn't know the purpose of the survey, maybe for his own research.

So I did my best to answer the question.

The thing was that, the survey contained so much jargon and terms that we were unfamiliar of. What do you expect from barely 3 meetings of class?

It was about transformative teaching or something and evaluation yadayada... Can't remember.

With so much jargon and bombastic sentences in the questions, I was immediately bored of answering the survey.

So you can't blame me when one of the questions asked me

"What kinds of transformative teaching that your institution is currently undertaking?",

I answered this.

MEGATRON.

oww

Safwan,

Buat esaimen anda.

Kurangkan buat aktiviti-aktiviti yang buat ko lupa Tuhan dan esaimen.

Daripada,
Person x.


****************************************

Slip of Tongue is on pause for a week or so.

Tags will be done later.

Get me outta here

I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,

(Augustana - Boston)

Entri yang ditulis dengan penuh rasa marah 2

Totally unrelated to Entri yang ditulis dengan penuh perasaan marah 1.

When something totally wrong in any religion and everybody's moral compass happens in front of you, what do you do?

A) Take matters into your own hands and correct it.

B) Ignore it, but vows to yourself that you'll never do the same thing towards others

C) Put your hands in the air and wave it like you just don't care


**********************************************************


I, along with my brother Nazim, his family and Hafiz (my younger brother) just had our dinner outside.

So after dinner, we went back home and parked the car. At the parking lot of my brother's apartment, we saw an ugly sight.

A young man, a bit younger than me, was manhandling a woman.

At first, it seemed like it was like a couple's quarrel. Though some physical contacts as in the guy grabbed her hand and forced her to go somewhere else happened, it seemed nothing serious.

However, shortly after that moment, I heard both of them throwing curse words to each other involving a pink animal with curly tail, and women's genital. The fight was not normal, I thought to myself.

I thought of stopping them, but was afraid of the possibility that the guy may be a member of a mafia or something. So, I didn't interfere.

We continued to walk and pretended like we didn't see anything. But after we were well out of earshot, we had a talk.


Me: Ish, Kak Yuni, Memang camni ke budak budak kat tempat ni?

Kak yuni: Ntah la. Anak siapa la nih. Ini baru first time Kak Yuni tengok budak budak buat camni. Ni budak Universiti X la ni.

Me: Huh. Wang dah tiga kali tengok lelaki pukul pukul perempuan kat tempat ni. Takut nak report je sebab takut dia ahli gengster.



Suddenly, we heard her scream.

She screamed SO LOUD at the top of her voice. It was as if her life was in danger or something.

Sadly, no one nearby in the mini mart even bothered to pay attention. Maybe it was a normal sight to them.

At that moment, I couldn't resist it any longer.

Fuck him if he is a gangster.

Fuck him if he will harm us or our belongings.

I'll be damned if something happened to her but I didn't lift a finger to protect her.


So I yelled, "WOOOIIIII!!!!"


And you know what that scum did?


HE FREAKIN YELLED BACK AT ME.


"WWOOOOOOIIIIII!!!!!"


My older brother Nazim and my younger brother Hafiz then rushed to the scene. I didn't dare to go there. I was too scared that he might identify my face and mobilize his gangs to rape me or something.

So they rushed to the scene, only to find that the woman managed to flee, and the man chasing after her. My brothers didn't go after them.


We went to our house, and saw a couple of the apartment's committee. Abang Nazim then reported the incident to them, and they rushed to the scene.


Hopefully everything is alright.


*******************************************************


I felt bad.

I didn't even try with every strength I have to stop it from happening.

I was too concerned with my own safety rather than hers, when it was obvious that she was in even greater danger.

Tanda tanda kebosanan meruntun jiwa nan lara.

Kalo bosan tak tau nak buat apa, main tag je la. haha. sumpah tgh bosan. pegi blog hopping semua ada tag benda alah ni. buat je la.



Rules: Use Google Image to search the answers to the questions below. Then you must choose a picture in the first page of the results, and post it as your answer.

1) I am......

in Constipation, hence making me full of crap. This picture goes both ways.




I really wanna go to





The Alps. I dunno where in the blue hell it is, but I'm gonna go there anyway. Looks beautiful.


3) My favorite place...:



Pak li Kopitiam. Even the waiters know me. Can't have a bloody dinner without having one or two waiters coming up to my table just to say hi.


4) My favorite food..:




Lasagna. Kekda, balik umah abang nanti buat eh? Dah ketagih. Lutut dah ketar ketar, nafas dah semput dah sebab tak dpt lasagna.


5)My favorite drink...:





Coffee. A must have drink every morning. I drink so much coffee everyday I think I sweat coffee and piss coffee.


6)My school/college..:




Cuba teka universiti apa...? hahaha.....



I was born in....



Hospital Sultanah Nur Zahirah Kuala Terengganu, formerly known as Hospital Besar uala Terengganu.



I live in




Shah Alam. I don't live in a mosque though. Typed Shah Alam and this mosque popped out.


My favorite story..:




Remember, Remember the Fifth of November
'Tis the Gunpowder Treason Plot.
I couldn't find a reason why it should ever be forgot.


V for Vendetta. The coolest movie ever. I wish our parliament was bombed.



My favorite thing...:




Chess. Mesti korang da bosan kan aku dok promo chess hari hari?
UiTM is organizing UiTM Open on 14th and 15th March. So gonna be there. I still got some of my ass left for others to kick.



I really want to be:









Slim.


......................



...........................................................


[Speechless]



Typed "Slim" and "Slim Shady" popped up.

An evening at EON service center.

Last week, I sent out my car to be serviced at Eon Service center at section 24.

I went inside the office and told my car's problems to the service advisor.

I noticed that they had hired a new clerk.

A DAMN CUTE CLERK I TELL YOU!

While waiting for the repair dudes, I stayed in the office watching TV3 Indonesian drama. She was there too, along with a couple of off-duty repair dudes. I sat across her at a table, and the repair guys sat at a couple of chairs behind me.

Although I couldn't resist talking to her, I managed to keep it cool.

"Very suave, Mr Safwan," I told myself.

I guess she couldn't resist my charm coz after a while, she started to talk to me. I cracked a couple of jokes, and with the way we talked, one would think we are the best of friends. She was about the same age as me.

Unfortunately, one of the repair guys interrupted us and said,


Dude 1: Amboi... Kak.... Ngorat customer....

She: Biar la. Jeles! Tu kereta Waja kat belakang tu dok tunggu awak repair je tu.

Dude 1: Yela yela....

She: Biar je la dia tu... Orang jeles memang camtu. Hahaha.


So we picked up where we left off. After a while, she continued her work and I got a bit bored, so I whipped out my phone and started to play chess.

After a couple of moves, the phone managed to penetrate my defences and I was in trouble. I thought long and hard for the move.

This is how I will look like when I am thinking

However, my concentration was broken because as I was thinking, a repair guy came inside the office to get some equipment, and said this out loud.


Dude 2: Mak aih! Tenung customer tak nak lepas! Taste la tu!


Aww SNAP!

She likes me! I KNEW IT!

Hahaha!

Finally, I have moved up a notch! I was hit on by a person of the opposite sex! It used to be only me who flirt around with girls....!

I continued playing chess and ended up losing. At the same time, my car was done, so I paid for the services and she gave me the milage sticker.

When I was about to stick the sticker at my car's mirror, I discovered a telephone number was written at the back of the sticker!

She can't get enough of me...!

So I drove back home swelling with pride. I felt so elated.

When I reached home, I gave it a hard thought on whether I should try to call the number up.
In the end, I braved myself and called the number.

But the voice on the other end wasn't hers.

It was a man. I dunno who he was.


Me: Hello?

Him: Hello. Ni sapa ni?

Me:[Surprised to be answered by a man] Erm......... Errrmmmmmm...ERRRMMMMMMMMMM.... Ni Shah ke?

Him: Shah mana plak ni...... Salah nombor arr brader.

Me: O.. Ye ke... Sorry eh....


Haish.......

I must be nuts.

And to think I was actually hot enough to get hit on by a girl...?

BERANGAN!

Note to self: Jangan perasan! She was being friendly coz she was paid to do so!