Antara Raja dan Makcik

Aku sekarang buat part time job. Jaga desert kaunter. Bab2 buat aiskrim, bagi air suma tu keje aku lah. Dah kat2 seminggu dah. Selama ni masak daging or assemble burger je. Tapi sebab ada sorang part timer lahanat apa jadah tah nama dia pegi cuti sampai seminggu. Ah sial. Abeh aku kena take over. Memang aku nyumpah2. Dah la aku tak terer math. Rela aku dok kat kitchen masak daging dari jaga kaunter.

Hari pertama:

Still terkial kial macam sial. Aiskrim patut swirl naik atas 2 rotation setengah pegi ke center, aku buat 3 elipsis.

Kau tak tau bentuk elipsis? Kau imagine orbit Bumi dan orbit planet2 sistem solar. Lebih kurang macam tu la.

Haa.. Lebih kurang camni. Abaikan benda2 bodoh yang lain tu. Amek yang merah je.

Customer nye muka serius aku takleh blah. Sorang sorang muka mintak pelempang. Lahanat pegi gelakkan aku. Kau terer sangat buat la sendiri. Aku tinggal punch order je. Boleh?

Hari Kedua:

Makin ok la sikit aiskrim aku. Dah tak macam orbit sistem solar dah. Bentuk cam taik dalam cite Shin Chan. Eh memang dia nak bentuk camtu kan? Marah aku ckp bentuk cam taik kenapa?

Baru dua hari jaga kaunter, dah bosan. Tak banyak customer datang untuk desert. Mostly datang nak makan burger je.

Maka bermula lah aku scanning environment aku.

Baru 10 darjah bukaan sudut aku scan, dah nampak satu sight paling indah dalam dunia.

Aku tenung je. Dia tak perasan.

Aku tenung lagi. Tiba tiba dari time dia tengah layan customer, dia tertengok aku.

Aku senyum.

Dia senyum.

Tunduk. Tersipu malu?

Dia sambung layan customer. Habis layan je, dia tengok aku balik.

Hihihi. Dia taste kat aku la nyah. oh dunia.

Ada sorang pekerja bangla kat tempat aku, Razid nama dia. Dia ternampak insiden ni.

Razid: Aaaaa..... Bhai! Kya hoga?

Aku: Razid bhai! Main (pron. mein) sudah jatuh pyaar dengan itu ladki.

Razid: Go talk to her laa...

Aku: Tak reti la. Main shair to nahin.

Razid: Ayo Bhai! Itu lagu ada sambung dia..

Jab se dekha maine tujhko mujhko shaayari aa gayi~

Aku: Apa tu? Tak paham. Dekha tu tengok kan?

Razid: Yess..... Eh bos! sori bos! I go kitchen now!

Demit abang manager. Perlu la kau sound dia time tu kan.

Abeh aku kena google maksud dia apa. Best jugak.

Nak dedicate kat kau bole?

Except verse last2 tu. macam syirik je.

p/s: Kan best kalau kau kerja dengan aku. Takyah kerja dengan Mak Cik tu lagi dah.

p/p/s: Kau dah habis cuti nanti, aku nak ko keje kitchen. Kapish?

Pointless things that I don't have to tell you but I want to anyway.

I have a tendency to give names to my possessions. Here are the who's what.

My Cactus - Kimberly

I got this cactus from Syamimi for my birthday. Come to think of it, I didn't give her any present for her birthday. Fuck. She must think I'm a jerk now.

Click here for the story of Kimberly.

"My Car" - Marina

Ok lah, it's my mom's car but I have a strong attachment to it. I was inspired by nothing. Thought it is a cool name so I gave it to my mom's car.

My handphone - Irfan

Most of you knew Irfan already. He's a good kid. But sometimes he's a pain in the ass. Lately he refuses to register missed calls. I noticed some of my friends claimed that they had been calling me for several times but when I checked, it did not register any missed calls. I even borrowed a phone to try miss calling Irfan. Still he refuses to register the intended miss call.

Though I've had Irfan since 2006, I just gave him his name last couple of months. I was inspired by a friend who got pissed off with me. He accompanied me on the day I went to buy Irfan, but I was so choosy. He later got pissed off with me and I ended up buying the phone I was checking out at that time.

My laptop - Buck Futter

Actually I just gave that name 2 minutes ago. I am so disappointed with that laptop. I had it since 2006 and it went coo coo earlier this semester. He refuses to boot. A technician said the connecting thingy of the RAM to the motherboard is loose causing the problem. Hard disk was also not stable coz it kept shutting down without warning. Only right speaker is functioning and a leaking battery is like a cherry on top of a shit pile.

My desktop - Amir Hamzah

After Buck Futter was outta service, I replaced him with a desktop. AMD Quad Core, 2 gig ram. My brother Hafiz and his friend Megat helped me to build Amir Hamzah from scratch. I told them a cheap and cheerful one would suffice. But since Hafiz said he may want to borrow my CPU if he wants to test a game, he insisted on creating a gaming spec PC.

I got the name Amir Hamzah from a text book I found at Popular Bookstore in Bukit Raja. I was alone at that time looking around the SPM book section. I saw a history reference book and flicked through it. I saw Amir Hamzah name in one of the Hikayats and was hooked by the name. Amir Hamzah. Woah. Sounds so cool right?

My Desktop speaker - Qasidah Nur Aisha

I came across the word Qasidah from a not so popular song in the 90's but I forgot the title. One thing's for sure, it has Qasidah word in it. A friend of mine told me Qasidah is also a name of one of Sadiq Segaraga's daughter in Tiga Abdul. Actually, in the first place I don't know what Qasidah means. A friend told me Qasidah is a type of Islamic poetry. Nur means light. Aisha means Happiness. Put them together it makes or "Poetry that bring lights and happiness". Or something like that. I kinda like it. It is the only thing that I own that I really gave much thought to name it.

Did you honestly read this post? God, you must be bored as hell.

Di satu restoran yang busy

Aku: Honey oat 6 inch eh?

Crew: ok. Menu?

Aku: Tuna. Takyah bakar.

Crew: sayur?

Aku: Sayur bagi semua la bang. Bagi lebih sket.

Crew: Sos nak apa?

Aku: Errmmm... Bagi Thousand Island dengan mayonis.

Crew: (Bungkus2) makan sini ke bungkus? nak air?

Aku: Makan sini. soft drink.

Crew: ok. semua skali Rm14.50.

Aku: Aik? Apsal Rm14? hari ni bukan hari selasa ke? kan kalo hari selasa Rm7.50 utk tuna sandwich?

Crew: Hari ni hari rabu.

Shit Shit Faketi Fak. Bole plak tak perasan hari ni hari rabu. padan la diorang suma makan menu meatball. Nasib baik lagi 4 orang belakang aku suma foreigner. Jangan diorang faham BM sudah.

I'm in deep shit

Sometimees, I wonder why sometimes my mouth speaks faster than I think.

Coz of that, I just landed myself in deep shit.

Perlu la aku cakap kat Jeng yang dia takkan dapat maintain berat dia time cuti ni.

Tetiba je dia tercabar terus ajak bet ngan aku.

The terms are if he maintains his weight, I may not eat any animals with legs for three weeks. Beef, lamb, Chicken, bird, Burung puyuh, grasshopper, Cockroaches you name it.

All I can eat for my protein source for the twenty one days are only fish and squid. Oh and jellyfish too. Not too keen on worms.

So my TESL friends in Kedah, I need you to seduce him to eat a lot. Ask him out often during the holidays ya?

Nana, Firdaous, Nani, Najmi, Fira, tolong la weh!

Korang memang cun la kalo korang berjaya...

Seduce him ok??