Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Dear slip of tongue

I've been putting stuff inside you since 2007.

The main reason was at that time, I was at the lowest point of my life.

1) I turned down RM180k a year scholarship for Air Asia Pilot for a TESL Degree, and people called me stupid for letting this opportunity go. I had to prove to those naysayers that I can live with a teaching degree.

2) I was lonely. Depressed as...... pressed things. I didn't have many friends. Sure, I have friends from Kuantan, but at that time, I was from a different circle of friends. Making new friends is not my strong suit.

3) I was really lonely. At that time, I think I went through a phase where a guy wants to know what's it like to be in a company of a girlfriend. Erik Erickson says people my age were going through Intimacy vs Isolation Stage. Lol. But thing is, I'm really clueless when it comes to girls. And with me being the weird fat unattractive looking guy, that just repels people from the other gender.

But the weird thing was, with me being so depressed, the things I wrote in this blog is always about things I find funny. Things out of the ordinary. Part of it is because Kenny Sia. Not as funny as him, but for a sad desperate guy, I guess I did ok.

So how come I couldn't do the same things I did back then?

Why can't I see things the way I see back then?

Why can't I still see how awesome this world is even though i'm literally in an ocean of diarrhea?

Damn, man.

Is this the price of old age?

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