Someone slap this bitch awake! PLEASE!

I don't know about you, but I think she deserves a bitch slap or two, doesn't she?

http://adibahahmad.blogspot.com/

Even if she doesn't believe in Prophet Muhammad, does she really need to insult him and the people who believe?

Dem...~

Just see it for yourself.

P/s:Thanks to Ismat for the info.

The perfect way to say "OMG You're so fat" to a stranger

I've been at my brother's house for the past few days and will be staying there until the semester starts.

I've been wanting to watch Yes Man, so I went out to KLCC to watch it during midnight yesterday.

I pressed the elevator button, and waited. After a couple of minutes, It opened, and there was a family of five already inside. There were a mom, two very hot sisters, a brother, and a small boy probably six years old. Cute.

Though it happened so fast, I can see that when the elevator door was opening, the mum took a quick look at me, her eyes rested a moment at my stomach, and by the way she looked, I can tell that she was quite surprised to see my stomach. Then she withdrew her gaze.

Then, I noticed that a couple of seconds later, she stared AGAIN at my stomach..

The young kid suddenly said this:


Boy: Mak, lambat la lif ni. Aiman nak mainan.

Mom: Sabar eh.. Nanti dah sampai kat rumah Mak cik Rosnah Aiman main la dengan pregnant Aiman. Eh I mean mainan.


The elevator door opened, and I left the elevator.

While I was walking, I can't help of thinking

"Do I look like a pregnant mom to you....??"

Dem, woman.....

It must be because of my pair of 34D man-boobs and the size of my stomach that made her think that I'm a pregnant mom.

Haish.......


Note to self: Diet!

Photo caption contest.

This will be the first contest I ever organized.

Thanks to Kak Yuni, my sister-in-law for sponsoring the prize.

Wanna win two GSC Movie Ticket Voucher that you can exchange to ANY MOVIE TICKETS at GSC Alamanda Putrajaya until 14 March 2009?







Then come up with the best photo caption for the picture below!







The funniest photo caption wins!


The rules:

1)The caption must consist of only 1 SENTENCE. Come up extra and you'll be disqualified without remorse.

2)Open to all Malaysian blog readers currently in Malaysia, except my immediate family member. They can submit their photo caption, but will not be judged though. If they insist, their entry will be disqualified without remorse.

3)Submit your caption, complete with contact details (name, email address, phone number) via my email: jackmama.mia@gmail.com . Any entries submitted elsewhere will be disqualified without remorse.

4)Closing date: 31st DECEMBER 2008 at 2359 hrs Malaysian time. Submit any later then you'll be disqualified without remorse.

5)Only 1 prize is available, which is the winner, who will win both tickets. So you would want to think up something really funny.

Get your creative juices flowing, guys!

Good luck!

Nashrah tagged me so.... here goes...

35 littl​e secre​ts

​Be hones​t no matte​r what!​

Who was your last text from?
- Florey D. Mikil. Haven't met her since last sem.

Where​ was your defau​lt pic taken​?​
-While I interviewed for AirAsia to do Pilot Cadet. Turned down the offer though.. Too many hot chicks can be lethal for my education.

Are you a happy​ perso​n?
-Yep.

Your relat​ionsh​ip statu​s?
-Single, available, and still virgin. Wakaka...

Have you ever lost a close​ frien​d?​
-Yep. Good riddance.

What is your curre​nt mood?
-Happy. I think

What'​s one of your siste​rs names​?
-Aida

What'​ s your favor​ite color​?
-green

If you could​ go back in time and chang​e somet​hing,​ would​ you?
-Nope. 

Have a crazy​ side?
-I am already crazy, so a crazy side for me must be my normal side. My friends would think my normal side is crazy though... I don't know why...Maybe they've got used to my crazy side, it's a normal thing for them....hahaha

Ever had a near death​ exper​ience​?​
-Yep.  Nearly crashed with a speeeding BMW on my way to Teregganu last two weeks.

Who Did You Last Hug?
-It has been so long I can't remember. Nobody loves me :'(  Hahahaha. no lah. Azli kot. Time lepak KL aritu.

Are you mad at anyon​e right​ now?
-Nope.

What'​s stopp​ing you from going​ for the perso​n you like?
-She thinks I can't be a serious dude. Oi! I can have the wisdow of a thousand year old guy while still acting like a child....!

When is the last time you cried​?​
-Last solat Jumaat. The Imam read Surah Al Waqiah so beautifully it made me cry. Ohh..The Beauty of Jannah.... The Torments of Hell....When you get what the Ayat means, pleasing Ayats make you cry of joy, warnings make you fear of Azab.

Who would​ you do anyth​ing for?
-People I love. And Friends. 

Are you happy​ with your life?​
-Yep

Whats​ your favor​ite numbe​r?
-number Slevin. haha. Seven.

Is there​ someo​ne that you will never​ stop lovin​g?​
-maybe. not gonna tell you.

Is it attra​ctive​ to you when a guy/girl smoke​s?​
-depends on what she's smokin. ;P 

Do you get scare​d easil​y?​
-Yes. Especially when committing myself to something. And ghosts..

Do you speak​ any other​ langu​age?
-hmm..Lemme see... Malay, English, a lil bit of Jawa, a tiny bit Japanese, and a whole library of Foul Language. 

Do you have any pets?​
-Nope. Too lazy to take care of things.

Descr​ibe your life in one word?​
-normal

Have you ever kisse​d in the rain?​
-Nope.

What are you think​ing of right​ now?
-How to answer this question ah...? Aiyah...

What shoul​d you be doing​ right​ now?
-Watch Mtv. 

Who are you think​ing of right​ now?
-Najib Tun Razak. don't ask me why.

What are you liste​ning to?
-Snow Patrol - how to be dead.

Who was the last perso​n you told I love you to?
-Ehem2

Who was the last perso​n who you yelle​d at?
-can't recall.

Do you act diffe​rentl​y aroun​d the perso​n you like?
-Nope. I be myself. 

What is your natur​al hair color​?​
-black

Who was the last perso​n to make you smile​?​
-The person who introduced Russel Peters to me.

Who am i tagging next?
-Nadzrah and you, if you like.

A letter to God 2

Dear Allah,

Thank you for answering my prayers...

Next time I'm at one of your houses, I'm gonna give some donations. And I'm not gonna screw it up again.

Thank you again...!

Your servant,

Safwan

Vote for my engrish pic!

Remember the engrish picture about the feet pampering and all that?

(Scroll down a bit and you'll see the post)

I'm pleased to say that it made through the first selection!

WIN!

But I need votes from the readers so that it made through all the way to the actual post.....

Please vote for me.... [click here]

Please.... With two cherry on top please....?

Why Learning Grammar is Important.

This is why learning grammar is important.

So kids, don't skive off schools, or else, you'll become like the people who made this advertisement.........







BECOUSE????

TRUSTERED???

My God, the grammar alone can give a teacher heart attack........

But the cherry on top has to be this.


"Want to pampers your 'feet?' "


Thanks to them, I'm thinking about my body parts other than my feet.

A little girl I once knew

The trip to Terengganu really brought back a lot of memory of me growing up..

It happened when my mum asked me to drive her to Pasar Payang that made me reminisce of a little girl I once knew.

The only thing I can't remember is her name. I have a big problem at that department.

****************************

I was 10 at that time.

Every Saturday morning, I used to learn Al Quran recitation in my dad's friend's school, Atta'wuniah Al Jadidah somethingsomething (I forgot). The coolest thing about this place is, they offer pick up service from your house to the school. This is so that the parents can't complain of being too busy to send their children to learn Al Quran.

The driver that always used to pick me up was Pak Awang, but since it is Terengganu, people call him Pok Wang.

I was the only student he had to pick up for Saturday mornings, until one fateful day.

After picking me up, he would go to Pasar Kedai Payang to pick up this one little girl. She's so small you could have easily mistaken her for an elf. She was roughly around 5 at that time.

The thing was, I hate it. I hate having to wait to pick her up.

Saturday mornings at Pasar Payang is a heart attack waiting to happen. Literally. That place is so packed up, the traffic jam alone is enough to cause a healthy people hypertension, Diabetes and severe depression.. Wait till you smell the stench.

After a couple of weeks, only then I started to talk to her. And she initiated the conversation. If she hadn't I would no have known her at all.



Her: Abang, Abang belajar baca Al Quran dah sampai mana?

Me: (Proudly) Abang dah baca sampai Surah Ali Imran. Adik?

Her: Adik baru sampai Iqra 6. Nanti adik naik Al Quran besar, adik nak kejar Abang. Kita lumba siapa khatam dulu!

Me: Hahaha...Ok ok... ermm Adik, abang nak tanya satu bole?

Her: Apa?

Me: Kenapa Pok Wang kena ambik adik kat Pasar Payang? Kenapa tak ambik kat rumah?

Her: Ooo... tu sebab pak cik adik jual sayur kat situ... Pagi pagi kena buka kedai awal awal. Pak cik kata banyak berkat pagi pagi. Allah tolong orang rajin.

Me: Betul. Adik duduk dengan Pak cik? Mak ayah mana?

Her: Mak ayah dah takde.

Me: InnalillahuwainnaIlaihirajiun....

Her: Mak ayah adik meninggal 2 minggu lepas. Rumah adik terbakar. Pagi pagi lagi. Mak, ayah, abang, semua meninggal. Adik sorang je yang selamat. (On the verge of tears.)

Me: Sabar eh dik....

Her: Mak adik sempat selamatkan adik. Lepas tu, dia masuk balik dalam rumah sebab abang dengan ayah terkunci dalam bilik lain. Tapi lepas dia masuk, rumah runtuh.

Adik boleh dengar diorang menjerit.

Pak cik cakap, kalau adik sayang arwah keluarga adik, adik kena banyak buat amal. Ustaz cakap amal anak soleh dan solehah boleh buat mak, ayah dengan abang masuk syurga. Adik nak baca Al Quran rajin rajin.

Adik tak nak diorang kena bakar lagi dalam neraka. Cukuplah diorang kena bakar dekat dunia.

Me: Adik, sabar eh? Ni ujian Allah. Allah tak uji kita kalau Dia tahu kita tak boleh tahan...

Her: Adik tau. Adik sayang mak, ayah dengan abang.


***************************************************************

It touched me.

For a girl so small, so young, so frail looking, so vulnerable, she had to endure a grown up's burden.

I feel sorry for her...


************************************

I would like to extend my deepest condolences to Nashrah for her grandmother's demise and In, for the loss of her mother.

Semoga roh mereka berada dikalangan orang orang yang mendapat rahmat Allah.





p/s: She beat me in the Khatam Quran Race. I khatam-ed for the first time in my life only this semester. Don't ask why.....

Well, better late than never...... Hihihi....

To Asif

To Ungku Asif, ex SMK Lembah Keramat student, class of 2006.

Semoga ko dan family selamat.

Semoga cepat get over from the trauma..

**************************

Just got this news.

Asif's house, which is located at Bukit Antarabangsa, was buried from the landslide at around 4 am if I am not mistaken.

Asif got out from the wreckage alive, but his maid still buried under. I haven't got any update about that.

Resumed

Just got back from Terengganu.

Arrived at kl.

Started the journey at around 10 am. Reached KL at 6.30 pm.

It rained cats and dogs.

At Kampung Bukit Diman and Bukit Besi, our car barely made it through the flood. The flood was nearly 2 meters high......

Tired.

Tired...

So tired....

Too tired to speak,

Too tired to think,

Too tired to write,

Too tired to crack jokes.

Tomorrow lah, people. For the next post, I'll try to make it worth your wait.....

Hehehehehe.....