The days

I dread Doomsday. But there's also one day that I've been dreading ever since I hit puberty.

That day is today, November 3, 2008.

Coz this is the day that I will turn 20.

I DON'T WANNA GROW UP! NOOOO!!!

I refuse to be twenty! I wanna be TWENTEEN instead!

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You see, when you turn 20, there are things that people expect from you.

They expect you to be much wiser.

They expect you to be more matured.

They expect you to be able to think for yourself, and judge right and wrong for yourself.

All because the number one in front of your age is replaced by number two.

The thing is, I'm not.

I'm not what you'd call wise and matured. Half, if not all, of what I say everyday is actually a load of bull. I can't think for myself. I can't even make my own decision. I take up TESL coz of eeny meeny myne moe. Every time me and my friends go out, I'd just let them pick out the place we should hangout. My decision making is that hopeless.

And my judgment skills aren't any better. I did loads of stupid things I wish my mom wouldn't know. Hopefully she doesn't know. One thing's for sure, I'm not gay.

I just can't picture myself being a wise old dude saying wise things.

Ok, I'm digressing now.

Where was I?

Right. When we grow up, things also get tougher (duh!). It's been a long time our homework' difficulty is something like 2+2=___?

It's been a long time that I would raise my hand and jump up enthusiastically in classes so that teachers notice me when she asked questions.

It's been a long time since I bombarded my dad with questions like

"Ayah, ayah! Kalau Singa tu Raja hutan, harimau tu ape? Permaisuri hutan eh?"

"Ayah, ayah! Itu burung ape? Burung tu makan ape? Tak sakit ke dia makan benda tu?"

"Ayah, ayah! Tengok ni Wang lukis ape kat tadika! Wang lukis muka ayah!"

"Ayah, ayah! Tengok! Wang tuyih (tulis) mende kat kerusi kete tu!"


And he was always patient with me when I did those things. Now I know how annoying it would be.

It has been a long time since I did those things. I miss those days.

But the thing is, once you grow up, you can never regress back. It's the law of nature.

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I guess I'll just have to adapt myself with those changes. That's what I supposed to do, isn't it? Coz no matter what I do, things will always get tougher by the second.

Even when I call myself a twenteen years old.